When a child appears in a family, the life of young parents changes dramatically. At the same time, the behavior of a woman who has received a new status for herself is changing. Now she is not just a wife, she is a mother. She has new sensations, new habits and new troubles, which are sometimes so difficult for husbands to understand. But this must be done without fail, because there is no turning back. To make it easier for a young father to understand his “improved” wife after the birth of a child, we have prepared a list of the most basic changes that happen to women when they become mothers. So let's go!
1. Your wife feels ugly
Men will never understand what conflicting feelings about his own body overwhelm his wife after giving birth. Meanwhile, this problem haunts the vast majority of new moms. They, of course, understand that their body is incredible and has just produced a tiny miracle, but this does not mean at all that they are ready to put up with the added weight and stretch marks on their stomach.
We know it's difficult.
What should a husband do in such a situation? The answer to this question is obvious - to tirelessly admire, praise and remember to pay sincere compliments to your wife. Only with the active support of her husband will a woman be able to cope with complexes arising from dissatisfaction with her appearance. Help your wife feel beautiful and desired again. If she is haunted by the thought of extra pounds, do your best to convince her that soon everything will return to normal. Remember to remind your wife that it was her body that gave you both the best gift in the world!
2. Your wife is obsessed with the child
Together with your wife, you are just learning to cope with all the difficulties that have appeared in your life after the birth of your child. And it is not surprising that at first the young mother is not distracted for a second from her new role. The child takes all her attention, she does not sleep at night, skips meals, practically does not pay attention to her husband. Sometimes it even begins to seem that she is simply obsessed with her motherhood.
The main thing is not to panic! This is a natural state, your wife just hasn't learned to control her maternal instinct yet. A little time will pass, and she will get used to her new status. And, as a result, he will learn to cope with his emotions and correctly distribute his love and attention.
3. Your wife thinks she is a bad mother, she is afraid
This fear haunts most women who first experienced all the delights of motherhood. Your wife has been preparing for this moment for a long time, and the birth of a child has become a kind of exam for her. She knows the theory very well, but is afraid to start practice. She always thinks that she can do something wrong, and numerous advisers, in the person of more experienced friends and parents, only add fuel to the fire with their advice and recommendations. This, of course, is good, but sometimes the bowl overflows. She is scared and stressed. At some point, the young mother breaks down and a real “explosion” occurs. She can get angry, cry, give up and say that she will never be a good mother for your child.
The best thing a husband can do at this moment is to instill in his wife the confidence that she is the most beautiful mother in the world. She tries very hard, and she needs your support like air. Try to calm her down, explain that experience always comes with mistakes. Love and understanding is the best sedative for any new mother. The only thing that matters is that you go through everything together and you couldn't even dream of a better mother for your child. Strong hugs and gentle words can brighten up the craziest and most difficult day in the life of a young mother.
4. Your wife is sensitive to other people's advice.
Young mothers are constantly bombarded with advice by all and sundry: relatives, girlfriends, neighbors on the landing. Imagine that every day you have to listen to your wife: she is feeding incorrectly, and her child is developing too slowly, and at his age it is already supposed to sleep less. And the mother thinks that it is time for her to leave the maternity leave, and her friend with five children imposes a bunch of advice, because "she is experienced." Well, and where without a mother-in-law, of course ... It is not surprising that your wife at some point gets tired of all this and becomes like a warlike hedgehog with released needles. As they say, the best defense is offense. But she reacts too sharply to everything.
The best advice for men in such a situation is not to interfere. You can talk about this with your wife, try to explain that all these advisers just want to help and do not need to react so sharply. But this conversation should be started only when she is completely calm.
5. Your wife cannot be angry with a child, she takes out anger at you
The first year in a child's life is the most difficult one. Lack of sleep and stress are constant companions of young mothers. They can throw anyone off balance, and your wife is no exception. She often gets angry and sometimes needs to let off steam. But after all, she can’t break on a child. It's a kid, what can you do.
At such moments, the father of the family takes the whole blow. Men, you are a lightning rod. And there's nothing you can do about it. The only advice in this situation is to wait. The main thing to remember is that it will pass. With time.
6. Your wife has nothing to wear
The most pressing problem after childbirth. A young mother can no longer wear clothes for pregnant women, she is so tired of dressing up in these clothes, which are often not too fashionable and beautiful. But she does not fit into her old clothes yet. She does not want to buy new things, because with all her soul she strives to regain her former forms. And as a result, your wife faces an eternal female problem - nothing to wear.
What you can't do is persuade her to update her wardrobe - your wife may think that you doubt her, do not believe that she is capable of losing weight. The best thing is to just switch her attention at such moments and remind her of what a wonderful and caring mother she is.
7. Your wife needs extra attention
A woman always wants her man to give her enough attention. And after the baby is born, your wife needs even more attention and care.
Any woman always sees her protector in a man, and this feeling gains special significance when she becomes a mother. Right now, she needs to feel a reliable man's shoulder next to her and be sure that in any situation you will always be there. For example, if you have guests, and your wife wants peace and quiet, then your main task is to inform them about it.
8. Your wife needs rest
Many young mothers naively believe that with the birth of a child, a super ability wakes up in them - to keep up with everything and everywhere. Probably, those other mothers with capricious children and uncleaned apartments have something wrong. But motherhood quickly squeezes out all the juices. And even worse, not many can admit it. They take on an unbearable burden, and after a while they simply burn out. And not all women are able to admit that they are not coping with their duties. They will not ask for help and will hide their “failure” to the last.
The best thing you can do for your wife is to send her to rest. Let her soak in the bathroom, watch TV, or just sleep. If your wife argues and resists, try to convince her that her body needs not only work, but also rest. And remind you that you are just trying to protect her from herself.
9.Your wife needs you to ask, or does she need something
Just ask your wife what she wants at the moment. Trust me, she will appreciate it.
10. Your wife loves you
If earlier your wife loved you exclusively as a man, then after giving birth she will love you as the father of her child. She likes to see you as a dad. She likes to listen to you saying that this baby is changing you so much. She will love to watch you play with your baby. She loves that the baby has your noses, eyebrows and ears. She is very pleased to hear how you proudly talk about your child.
It may seem counterintuitive, but the closer you are to the child, the closer to her. It is priceless to be the only spectator in the film where you play the main, father's role.
