How I became a dairy mother for two other people's children. Is it worth feeding your child with donor milk?
To be or not to be a nurse for someone else's child? To feed or not feed your baby with donor milk? I never thought about it, although I managed to be a dairy mother twice, which I do not regret at all.
Undoubtedly, breast milk is much healthier than formula: it is ideal for babies, its composition is constantly changing, adapting to the needs of the baby. And, of course, do not forget about the psychological component: the baby knows that his mother is nearby, feels her warmth and care. I knew about all these advantages even before giving birth, so I did not even think about formula feeding, and as soon as my baby was born, I began to establish breastfeeding.
The first two days everything went just fine: the baby sucked at the breast and fell asleep peacefully. And on the third day of milk I had so much milk that I was ready to climb on the wall from the aching pain in the overflowing chest. Between feedings, when my baby was asleep, I rushed to the sink and tried to straighten my stone chest. I knew that this should not be done, but then I did not see any other way to cope with the problem.
My roommate, who was trying to calm her daughter screaming with hunger, threw envious glances at me. Now I don't even remember which one of us came up with this idea - to put it on me for feeding, I know for sure that this thought was wandering in our heads (I was terribly sorry for her child, but I was embarrassed to suggest). The baby eagerly grabbed my chest and finally calmed down. And I was very surprised at my feelings as a wet nurse, because when feeding someone else's child, I felt almost nothing - that is, physically I felt that I was feeding, but there were no emotions. It's completely different to feed someone else's child. Just mechanical feeding - the baby sucks on the breast, and you lie and think: "All or not all?" With yours, everything is different: while feeding you feel closeness, unity with the baby, all-consuming love - you literally enjoy these moments and really get pleasure from it. I fed the neighbor's girl until she was discharged from the hospital, and then we just went home.
The second time I became a dairy mother at the request of doctors. I gave birth very early - at 26 weeks. My daughter and I went through all the circles of hell: resuscitation, incubator, tube feeding. Not every parent is able to endure this, and the mother of the girl, who was lying in the neighboring incubator, apparently could not stand it. She did not come to the child, and her condition was extremely serious, critical: artificial ventilation of the lungs, the child did not gain weight 700 grams or more. The doctors asked me: "Help, you have a child of the same age and weight." And I agreed.
I had to express it with my hands, after thorough treatment of the skin with solutions. I was given sterile bottles, one for my child, the second for a stranger, and I tried to collect enough so that two babies were enough for a day. I pumped for hours, literally until my chest turned blue, until my skin peeled off. These were completely different sensations, not similar to those that I experienced the first time. Only one thought was spinning in my head - this is vital for this baby. Indeed, with my milk, I pass on to this child a piece of love, warmth and affection - I hoped that this would help her to get stronger and start gaining weight. But, unfortunately, it did not help: during the two weeks that I was feeding her, the child did not begin to gain weight. My daughter and I were transferred to another hospital, to the department for premature babies, and that little girl remained in the incubator. Apparently, it is of great importance not only that the milk is suitable for the child in terms of weight and age, but it is much more important that it is from his mother - dear, loving.
I often think of these dairy children of mine, although I no longer remember their names, and I don’t know how their further fate developed. But I have never regretted my decision to feed them - I want to believe that with my milk they got at least a little bit of health. So to be or not to be a nurse for someone else's child? Definitely be! To take or not to take a wet nurse? For myself, I have not yet answered this question. What do you think?
