The story of a mother who pushed her son into the background for the sake of love for a man. A tough decision that will never be regretted.
I stared at the blank Word paper for a long time. I thought about how to start my story. But I knew for sure that I wanted my situation to become a lesson for many mothers that would teach them to hear their child, believe him, look at the situation with sober eyes. I did the opposite. My love was so strong that I involuntarily pushed my son into the background and plunged headlong into a whirlpool of love.
Briefly about yourself
I am 29 years old. At 21 I gave birth to a child from my beloved man. To say that I was happy is to say nothing. It was the perfect relationship that every girl dreamed of. But it happened as it happened. When Pashutka was 3 years old, my husband got into a car accident. On day 3, he died from multiple fractures and injuries incompatible with life. I will not describe all my suffering, pain, fears, experiences. I will just say that I almost committed suicide. I changed my mind when I saw a photo of my son. At one point, I realized that I needed to live on - for his sake.
The beginning of a relationship
5 years later. Pasha is now 8 years old. He has already gone to second grade. The son is my love, my support, the only joy and pride. At what point I pushed him into the background and stopped considering him the most dear and beloved person on earth, I don't know. Apparently, this happened when I met him on my way - handsome, gallant, dressed up, humorous and tall. All these qualities influenced me in a wonderful way. But, not the point. We began to meet, and a year later - to live together. I introduced him to Pashutka 4 months after the beginning of the relationship.
Seryozha treated him well. He brought sweets, toys, took him with him to training in the gym. In general, I was in seventh heaven with happiness, because two beloved men hit it off - what could be better?
They began to live with me - in a three-room apartment. At first everything was perfect (I'm talking about the attitude towards my son) - gifts, walks, joint trips. Seryozha even presented Pashik with the prefix he had dreamed of for so long. But this idyll did not last long, until we signed.
My indifference
My faithful lost his job abruptly. I drove away bad thoughts and kept repeating to myself: "So what, soon there will be a new one." I myself work as a senior economist at a bank. Sometimes I come home late enough. On one of these days, an unexpected call came from Pasha. His voice was agitated. The son then asked: "Mom, will you be at work for a long time?" I remember that I answered: "About two hours." I asked if everything was all right. In response, I heard an affirmative answer.
But my heart did not stand still. I felt that something was wrong and went home.
When I opened the door, I heard Seryozha shouting at Pasha. He made him wash the dishes after him. Somewhere in my soul I was glad that this small everyday problem became the cause of the quarrel, because what was spinning in my head when I was sitting in a taxi had nothing to do with it.
The fact that Seryozha yelled at my son did not bother me at all. Now I understand that I myself have never allowed this. With Pashuta, everything was decided calmly. He always knew from the expression on his face that his mother was angry or tired. Therefore, it was not accepted in our family to scream - it was until Seryozha appeared.
I went into the kitchen, saw the evil Pasha and Seryozha smiling at me. In a word, as always, at the sight of him, I “floated”, not paying attention to my son. Yes, all the mothers will forgive me, after the quarrel I did not even go into his room, did not talk and did not accompany him to the bathroom. Only now I understand how wrong I was.
At night Sergey told me scary stories about how sloppy, selfish, insolent Pasha was. There were even accusations that I was not strict enough, that I was not at all competent in raising my son and, in general, that I did not have enough brains in this area (BRAINS !!! - I have not heard this from any man, therefore which did not allow to say so). But I was silent and nodded obediently in response. Seryozha, clearly not expecting a positive reaction, added: "Now I will educate Paul." I nodded again (so me ...).
To be honest, this state of affairs suited me completely. I no longer felt the former fatigue, because Seryozha completely took possession of Pasha's attention - he did homework with him, took him to training, took him from school (such a mommy in a man's guise). Now I understand why he did it (he just didn't want to work).
I completely estranged myself from my son, putting him in the hands of my husband. I didn't care that Pashik had become downtrodden, taciturn and uncommunicative. I missed that he stopped running to me with open arms when I arrived from work. I did not notice that my child ran away to his room as soon as Seryozha sat down next to me. I didn’t want to realize that my son had stopped going out into the yard, talking with friends, playing the console. In a word, I was not even interested in what was happening at school, in training.
But once Pashutka, only when he saw me, began to talk about every minute, every second spent at school. This happened with such delight, indignation or joy that I did not dare to interrupt him.
All the secret has become clear
One fine day, it seemed to me. I realized that I was making a mistake when we went to the entertainment center. Pashutka refused to play table hockey with Seryozha. It pissed me off terribly. I took him around the corner and yelled. Then I said: "How dare you, Seryozha does so much for you, and you are ungrateful!"
I cannot express in words what I felt when tears appeared on my child's face. He began to cry bitterly. I could not calm him down. To say that I was horrified is to say nothing. I grabbed Pasha in my arms and carried him outside. We sat down on a bench, I hugged him tightly and through tears asked him to tell me what was happening. What I heard shocked me. I felt like a real pig (and that's putting it mildly). Only at that moment did I notice how bad my child was. Pasha told me that Seryozha had already beaten him several times, with everything that came to hand. When I asked why he didn’t tell me, my son replied that his stepfather had frightened him with an orphanage.
But that's still part of the story. At every opportunity, Seryozha told me that his mother no longer loved him, and that another child would soon be born, which would finally oust him from my life. I don't know what motivated this man at all - whether he wanted to completely capture my attention, or prove to a small child his importance, or whether he hated my son so deeply.
Pasha at that moment clung to me so hard that I roared like a beluga. Having calmed down, we returned to the entertainment center. Seryozha, seeing Pashka's tear-stained face and my furious face, apparently understood everything. The child hid behind me. I didn't say a word to my husband. I just took my things and went outside.
There was deathly silence in the car. I couldn't stand it. Anger just perked out of me, but under Pasha, I did not want to make trouble. Then I invited my son to stay for an hour with aunt Lena (my friend). The son kindly agreed.
When Sergey and I were alone, I again could not say anything. She just sat there and shook her head. He spoke first. My faithful said the following: “And you believed this bastard? Don't you see, he does it on purpose? "
My eyes were bloodshot and I asked, "How did you say?" Immediately I pounced on him with my fists, not paying attention to the fact that we were driving along a crowded highway.
When I calmed down, the question followed: "Did you beat him?" He replied that he slapped a couple of times on the bottom. Something unimaginable was happening in my head - love for Seryozha, hatred and insane resentment for my son fought.
Tough decision
We drove to the house in silence. When I entered the apartment, I immediately said: "Pack your things and leave." Prayers, petitions, promises followed, and even tears one by one rolled down the face. But I remained adamant and pointed to the door every time. Then he finally packed his things and left, saying at last: "So you will remain alone with your moron." At that moment, I realized how much I was wrong. A feeling of disgust developed in me, and not only towards Seryozha, but also towards myself.
It was in my head how I could do this to my son. After all, he is still so small and unprotected. Of course, I myself am to blame, because I did not notice such obvious things. How many times I scolded him for slandering his stepfather, how many times I forced him to apologize to him, how many times I punished him for lying and forced him to sit in the room - you can't remember.
I still hate myself for the fact that because of some villain I stopped kissing my child, talking to him, playing hide and seek, collecting his favorite puzzles. I despise myself for being on the other side of the coast during a difficult period in Pasha's life. I want to tear myself to pieces for not believing him, letting everything go by itself. And Pasha at this time himself struggled with his fears and lived with the thought that his mother no longer loved him and would soon send him to an orphanage.
After this incident, I heard many more stories from my son. One of the most terrible is the one in which this monster hit the child on the head with a ladle when Pavlik accidentally spilled borscht on the table. After that, I told my son that we need to forget this person like a bad dream. We never think about Seryozha again.
By the way, for those who will say that the child could have lied, I’ll say right away: several people confirmed the fact of raising their hands to my son. One man on the playground even told me that Seryozha hit Pavlik on the head for not giving in to the girl.
Here's a story. Let everyone who wants to judge me. I will not deny my guilt. But I can say with confidence that this incident served as a lesson to me. Henceforth, not a single man will take Pashka's place in my heart.
