My experience: the child should sleep separately

Modern pediatricians and child psychologists agree that sleeping together has a lot of advantages: parents do not need to jump from bed to cradle in the middle of the night, and the baby sleeps sweetly under mother's warm breast. There is no consensus on this issue, however, our family was convinced from their own experience that the baby has no place in the parental.

For nine months, mother and child were one. That is why the tiny person is so firmly attached to his mother and quickly calms down next to her. Really, after the birth of the baby, mothers should so carefully maintain this connection, falling asleep with the baby? Is it really necessary, and how can it affect the internal well-being of the family? Adjusting to the interests of the little person, it is important for parents not to lose their personal space. But a newborn requires so much care and attention that sometimes sleeping together seems to be the only way out during sleepless nights. How to do the right thing?

Fear or Logic?

We tried not to listen to the screaming grandmothers rebelling against sleeping together. I was an educated modern mother who read many useful publications highlighting all its merits. Joint sleep perfectly synchronizes the biorhythms of the mother and child, which makes it much easier for the first to wake up at any night time. And young parents do not have to constantly jump up to the crib at the slightest squeak of a small family member. Plus I knew that milk production improved so dramatically. I can list many more benefits of sleeping together, but ordinary parental fears are on the opposite side of the scale.

Fear of accidentally hitting a baby... My husband often turns very much in his sleep. Once he rolled over in his sleep and elbowed me with a black eye, with which I was ashamed to appear in public. And if a newborn was next to him, what could happen then?
Fear that the child will fall out of bed. What if, when we are sound asleep, our baby falls to the floor and gets injured?
Fear that it will be very difficult to wean a child from sleeping together... We were especially frightened by the example of our close friends, with whom the child constantly slept until the age of 5.
Fear that the baby will bury its nose in something in bed and suffocate... My husband and I did not want to remove the blankets from the bed, as well as change our comfortable bed for a hard mattress.

Yet these fears got the better of it, so soon a cute crib with a hard mattress and a cute bed set appeared in our bedroom.

Underwater rocks

But the little one did not appreciate such beauty at all! Rather, he slept well in the crib, but during the transfer from my hands, he began to cry a lot. My husband and I could calm the screaming lump only after 4-5 attempts. In addition, every night I jumped out of bed with alarm several times: such excitement is characteristic of young mothers.

Initially, it seemed to me that after feeding, I forgot to put the baby in bed - probably he got tangled in the blanket! I stirred the bed in fear: sleepy to me, every fold on the blanket seemed like a tiny hand or a baby's foot. There was no end to this nightmare!

Sleep experience with toddler

After an exhausting week, I decided to try a joint sleep with a baby. I fed him, left him next to him and tried to sleep. But then dad began to toss and turn - would he crush the crumb? Then the baby began to move - he can get tangled in the blankets! I decided to put the baby on the edge of the bed, putting the blanket right on the floor: even if the baby slips off, it will fall on the soft one.

I could not sleep: I was cold without a blanket, every sound was like the wheezing of a gasping baby. So I suffered for several hours, and then put my son to bed and instantly fell asleep. Sharing a dream is absolutely not for me. I'd rather sleep well, albeit with some breaks, than not sleep at all!

Way out

We quickly found a solution to the existing problems, and there were two of them: we were faced with whims during transfer to the cradle, as well as my worries at night.

The first problem was allowed like this: we tried free swaddling. The wrapped baby after feeding did not even notice the change of place of stay. Since that day, we have actively applied free swaddling, weakening the diapers every week. A month later, we just wrapped up the legs of our baby a little.
Second problem chamomile baths were easily eliminated: after such procedures I became more relaxed and calm, therefore my searches in blankets at night gradually disappeared. Everything around has found its harmony.

Benefits of Separate Sleep

Safety for crumbs: the baby continues to dream quietly on the children's orthopedic mattress even now without any risk of falling or suffocating, as well as being crushed.
Personal space for me and my husband, as well as the ability to sleep in any position without the fear of rolling over.
Easy weaning: not getting used to snacking on his mother’s breast all night long, our son just parted with breastfeeding. When the child was one year old, he easily left our room and moved to his own.

Whatever advice they give around, only the parents make the decision. We said no to sleeping together and never regretted this choice.