Divorce statistics are relentless: annually in Russia, up to 65% of marriages break up. 70% of them are terminated in court due to the presence of minor children. In 86 cases out of 100, alimony is collected. But in 14 cases, an application for the recovery of alimony is not submitted, although the law is completely on the side of the mother, who is left with minor children. How not to become a victim of false beliefs and not drive yourself into an endless race for money, but simply apply for alimony that fathers of children are required to pay by law.
After a divorce, many things become blurry. It is not clear how to build a new life, what to do and, most importantly, how to provide for a common child. After all, after a divorce, most children stay with their mothers, whose fragile shoulders bear the question of not only taking care of the child and caring for him, but also the material side of the matter. Take your time to get three jobs at once. Just read the article and you will find a way out.
Superman syndrome
- Here you go.
The ex-husband handed me a crumpled 2 thousand rubles.
- What is it?
- Money that. Buy ... something ...
Something? How dare he mock me like that?
“You can't buy anything with this money.
“That's all I can do to help. Money is tight now.
I was filled with hatred. "That's all I can do to help." Yes, great help! Benefactor. “Money is tight” ... This is a person who recently bought a new car.
That same evening I began to think about how we should be with money. My son needs a lot of things: a kindergarten, a swimming pool, classes at a music school. And how much money do I need for food, clothes ... My brain was torn from the number of thoughts that overwhelmed it. Mechanically, I reached for my laptop to look for a second job. I’ll talk to my boss at my main job, explain the situation. He is a good man, I think, will allow you to combine.
"A salesperson in a clothing store ... flexible hours ... can be combined."
Excellent! What you need.
Two days later, I went to a new job. It took a lot of time to master a new business. But I did it. From morning until sixteen o'clock I worked at my main job in the office, then rushed like a bullet to a clothing store, where I worked until 22.00. My mother was with the child.
Why did it seem so easy to me then? It was terrifying how hard it was. I was tired half to death. I came home, and without undressing, I fell into bed and fell asleep.
This went on for two months.
Once the ex-husband completely disappeared. I haven’t stopped by for a month, I haven’t contacted. I learned from his mother that he has a new lyuboff, and they are now resting abroad.
- Perfectly! But nobody canceled the help to the son.
Mom said nothing in response.
I burst into tears. Wild fatigue, mixed with a sense of resentment against the father of my child, overwhelmed me. Why am I working like a slave at two jobs, while he is basking in the sun in another country? Will not work.
I must say that before that I had thoughts about alimony, but I always drove them away from myself for many reasons. Because of them, by the way, many mothers do not want to apply for payments.
No time and energy
I was so busy that I just physically could not find time for this case. It seemed to me that there are more important things to do. In fact, the application process does not take much time and effort. There is no need to endlessly wander around the courts (the husband will then wander about if he refuses to pay). I came, filled out an application, gave it to the clerk. All.
I do not want to spoil the relationship
When we divorced, we agreed: the husband will volunteer to help the child, and I didn’t want to spoil my relationship with him, so I didn’t apply. I have always respected the father of my son, and it was important for me that he saw how well his mother and father communicate with each other.
The second side of the coin: the ex-husband can periodically complain to the guardianship authorities, do many more small dirty tricks, using his father's rights.
But there is no need to fear such troubles: the law precisely and clearly defines the rights and obligations of parents. If there are no violations on the part of the mother, you should not worry about complaints to the authorities and excessive demands.
Money is tight
It always seemed to me that the alimony workers are committing some kind of scam: they provide fake income certificates, get a job as a janitor, just not to pay. Therefore, I believed that alimony is always small money, for which one does not need to try. In fact, now everything is strictly on this part. The alimony must give the child ку of his income for one child, 1/3 for two children, ½ for three, and so on. Payments are made without fail, strictly according to the schedule. If you don't pay alimony voluntarily, there will be pennies, fines, confiscation of property and even jail time.
Even if the modest alimony does not affect the family budget, you can transfer it to an account opened in the name of the baby. By the 18th birthday, a decent amount will accumulate on it, which will be enough to pay for tuition or a large purchase. Refusal of alimony in this case is a minus to the child. In addition, the financial situation can change for the worse. And then you will only have to regret the unreceived money.
"I myself"
"I can handle it myself" - do not even allow such a thought. I say this from my own experience. You can see for yourself, and when you feel like a driven horse, you will understand that I was right.
You cannot devote your whole life to caring for a child and work. You should have your own personal life, full of joy and positiveness. You need to have fun, go to the movies with your friends, go out with new boyfriends.
Remember that after a divorce, your life is just beginning, and you should use this period to restore yourself as a person. Girls who work hard, burn out emotionally, stop taking care of themselves, don't go anywhere, don't develop. They smoothly turn into "men", female energy simply evaporates from them. Have pity on yourself. You have your whole life ahead!
But most importantly, two are responsible for the child, the mother and the father. They are endowed with equal rights and should equally provide for the child. It is the direct duty of the father to provide his son with money, so let him fulfill this duty.
- How to properly tell your child about divorce: advice from a psychologist
- How to survive a divorce from two children: 7 options for a mom
- Tips for Divorced Parents: How to Raise a Child After Family Collapse
