Psychological infertility: causes and treatment, psychosomatics

Approximately every fourth couple in modern society faces the problem of infertility to one degree or another. And not always the reason for the absence of a long-awaited pregnancy lies in the diseases and pathologies of the reproductive systems of the spouses, sometimes they are completely healthy, but for some reason the children are in no hurry to appear in their family. In this case, we are very often talking about psychological infertility. Why it is developing and how to deal with it, we will tell in this article.

What it is?

Infertility is usually called a condition in which a couple fails to conceive a child for a year or more regular sexual activity without the use of contraception. It can be primary and secondary. In the first case, it is not possible to conceive the first child, and in the second, the second or third child does not work.

Infertility has no age priorities, gender differences, or racial characteristics. Everyone can be subject to it. Male infertility accounts for approximately 45% of all cases of childlessness in couples, while female infertility accounts for about 40%. Another 15% is mixed mutual infertility, in which reproductive functions are impaired in both partners.

The most common causes of infertility are inflammatory and infectious diseases of the genitals and pelvic organs, a violation of the composition and amount of sperm in men, hormonal disorders in women, as well as congenital anatomical defects of the reproductive organs in both women and men.

They began to speak openly about psychological infertility only relatively recently. Until that time, doctors attributed it to idiopathic infertility, that is, infertility with an unexplained cause. Such a diagnosis was made to everyone who, according to the examination results, did not find grounds for infertility - there was no inflammation, infections, anatomical abnormalities, endocrine disorders that prevent conception.

Doctors are now paying more attention to such an aspect as the psychological state of partners. It has been proven that prolonged stress contributes to the predominance of stress hormones in the human body, and these substances reduce the production of sex hormones in both men and women. Psychotherapists and psychosomats are studying the causes and methods of correcting psychological infertility.

Specialists in the field of psychosomatics are sure that any disease and condition has psychogenic roots, and infertility is no exception.

It used to be thought that idiopathic infertility had little or no prospect for treatment. With other types of reproductive disorders, everything is simpler - there is a problem, which means there will be a solution. Endocrine disorders are treated with hormonal drugs, inflammatory processes - with antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drugs, where surgery is required, an operation is performed. But if the spouses are somatically healthy, all the tests are normal, it is completely unclear for doctors what exactly needs to be treated so that a man and a woman can become parents.

You can, of course, come to terms with inexplicable infertility from the point of view of medicine, abandon the hope of raising your own baby, or use reproductive assisted technologies such as IVF.

But it is best to start with establishing the cause of psychogenic infertility, because in most cases, full awareness of these reasons and the correct actions in the future return the couple to fertility and healthy, strong and beloved babies are born.

Causes in women

The psychological characteristics of women consist in a longer memory of past events and a more frequent fear of different origins. In fact, the main psychosomatic factor of infertility in women is fear. It can have various forms and a woman is not always aware of it. A good specialist in the field of psychotherapy or psychosomatics will help to identify it and bring it "outside". For diagnosis, hypnosis, meditation, and functional tests can be used.

The mechanism of female infertility from the point of view of psychosomatics looks like this: a woman experiences fear of pregnancy and childbirth, which is perceived by the brain as a signal to mobilize the protective functions of the body. Having received a signal from the brain to “protect” and “protect” in the name of self-preservation of the entire system, including the reproductive one, they seek to prevent the onset of a “dangerous” state. In this case, it is pregnancy.

Many women may argue that, on the contrary, they want to get pregnant, but they can't! This means that fear "sits" in the depths, in the subconscious, the woman is not aware of it, but the "sterility" program has already been launched. That is why all her attempts to conceive a baby fail.

Of course, in each case, fear can have different causes. Let's look at the most basic ones that are most common in the practice of psychotherapists and psychosomats.

Fear of childbirth, pain... A young girl, who has not yet had a chance to give birth, and a mature woman, who has experience of difficult and painful childbirth, can be afraid of labor pain. This fear is not necessarily based on personal experience. Sometimes, in the course of studying the patient's problem, it turns out that a long time ago, as a child, she saw a film in which a woman screamed terribly and died in childbirth. Fear of this process has settled deep in the female subconscious. It is he who, for the good of the whole body, seeks to save a woman from such an experience.
Fear of giving birth to a sick child. Every woman dreams of healthy offspring. Fear of giving birth to a baby with disabilities can also cause a "block". Most often, this reason is found in very impressionable women who themselves grew up in a family where there were children with disabilities, as well as who saw such children constantly - in the families of neighbors, at school.

Such fear can develop at a later age, if a woman is psychologically unstable, inclined to relive close to her heart everything she saw and heard. With an abundance of information about sick children on TV, on the Internet, it can be quite difficult for them to distance themselves from such thoughts.

Unwillingness to give birth from this partner. This is also a fairly common cause of female psychogenic infertility. Love was, but then it did not pass the test of time, quarrels, conflicts. When the time came to acquire offspring, the woman simply stopped wanting a child from this particular man. At the same time, she is often completely not going to get divorced, change her partner, she is quite satisfied with her own husband, but she subconsciously does not want to give birth to children from him. Quite often, this is observed in families where the marriage was concluded hastily, where in the early stages there were problems in relationships - quarrels, fights, domestic violence, where the main principle of a woman is "Tolerate and fall in love." Tolerate - yes. But she will not fall in love. Many come to this conclusion too late.

Sometimes the reason for the unwillingness to have a child from a given man lies in some of the partner's shortcomings, in some traits of his character, which do not interfere with living together, but the woman really does not like it. She does not want the child to be like such a dad. Sometimes a woman is afraid of giving birth to a sick baby if her husband had cases of genetic or other abnormalities in the family.

Fear of responsibility. The kid is not only joy, but also worries. It needs to be fed, clothed, taught, treated, raised and educated. Women are infantile, who do not know how and cannot take responsibility even for deciding what to cook for dinner, as they are afraid of responsibility for other people like fire. The fear of being left without money, without work after childbirth, losing the entire career gained by back-breaking work, and becoming unclaimed can also be attributed to the same category of female “fears”.

For this reason, women who grew up in families with many children often encounter psychological infertility, where the girl, as the eldest, was forced to sit with her younger brothers and sisters, to the detriment of her own interests and hobbies. They can keep in their subconscious the unwillingness to take responsibility for babies for life.

Rejection of oneself as a woman. For this reason, infertility is usually prone to women whose parents dreamed of a boy, and a girl was born. Mothers and fathers unwisely regularly reminded their daughters of their failed parental aspirations. They chose men's sports for her, took her on a fishing trip, taught her how to fight and shoot. Women who deny their nature, strive for independence in everything, for domination, domineering and despotic, feminists also become infertile. Changes in their body are so obvious that they begin to manifest themselves at the hormonal level - testosterone goes off scale, antennae begin to grow. Such women usually have a rough voice and a masculine gait.
Fear of changing outwardly. After hearing and reading stories about "terrible stretch marks", "20 extra pounds" after childbirth, some of the fair sex subconsciously begin to fear just external changes.

Girls are prone to such infertility, who rely heavily on their own attractiveness - models, actresses and just beautiful wives of wealthy husbands.

Childhood experience. Often, idiopathic infertility is diagnosed in women who have experienced violence, incest, and abuse from their mother or father in childhood. This experience lodges deep in the subconscious. A woman, becoming an adult, is subconsciously afraid to have children, so as not to accidentally injure them, as she herself was previously injured. This is the most difficult type of psychogenic infertility, requiring long and painstaking work of the spouses in tandem with a psychotherapist. It is not always possible to achieve success.
Shame. If from childhood the girl was taught that sexual relations is something disgusting and unpleasant, that they are sinful, that "bringing in the hem" is a shame and horror of the whole family, then there is a high probability that as an adult, a woman will not be able to get pregnant due to subconscious negative perception of pregnancy.

Male problems

The psychology of men is simpler and more straightforward. They either want a child or they don't want one. At the same time, the partner may argue that he is not against the baby, but deep down he will also be afraid. What men are afraid of:

Fear of "second role". Men appreciate and love attention to their own person. Even the thought that the first place in a woman's heart can pass to another (child) haunts him. Usually, this affects men who are insecure, raised by an oppressive and domineering mother, who grew up without a father.
Fear of growing up... Some quite adult married men have children's hobbies (they collect models of airplanes, steam locomotives, launch radio-controlled boats, collect model cars). This is a sign of psychological immaturity. Of course, there is nothing wrong with such hobbies, but you should definitely pay attention to them if a healthy woman cannot conceive a child with such a man. Usually, psychologically immature representatives of the stronger sex leave families where they were surrounded by the constant and obsessive love of mother and grandmother, where until now a 40-year-old son is trying to tie a better scarf or straighten the collar of his jacket.

A man is not psychologically ready to give up childhood and recognize himself as a father. The role of the child is more pleasant to him.

Fear of change. The man understands that the child will require additional expenses, that the appearance of the baby will change the usual way of life of the family. Particularly responsible men are also aware that their wife will have to help, because sleepless nights will very quickly turn her into a zombie. If a man does not have a strong financial base, an unreliable position at work, if he is afraid to take responsibility, then very often he develops idiopathic infertility, which is almost impossible to get rid of without the help of a psychologist.
Fear of failure. If women can easily change their plans and goals, then the psyche of men is less labile. If a husband from childhood dreamed of conquering all the famous mountain peaks, then he is unlikely to part with such ideas after marriage. A child in the understanding of such a romantic can interfere with the goal.

The chronic stress that a man experiences as a result of an internal conflict between his "I" and the wife's desire to have a child may well lead to a change in the morphology and number of sperm.

Treatment and correction

It is recommended to start treatment with the search for the causes. Psychologists, psychotherapists, psychosomatics specialists will help to identify the true problems. As soon as the cause becomes apparent, all doctor's recommendations should be followed. He can prescribe hypnotherapy sessions, a course of sedatives and vitamins for both partners.

Joint yoga classes, psychological trainings in a group will be beneficial.

To remove the blocks of fear of contact with children, psychosomats often recommend spouses to temporarily become volunteers and visit orphanages and orphanages. Communication with children will allow you to quickly cope with blocks and fears.

Psychologist's advice

Experts recommend that couples stop persistently waiting for two strips on the test, as well as blame themselves and each other for the current situation. Waiting creates chronic and prolonged stress and does nothing to promote conception. Instead, you can:

make repairs in the apartment with our own hands or plant a garden in the country;
go on a trip;
experimenting in bed with postures, sexual sensations, focusing on the process, without thinking about the possible result of the act;
find a hobby that will become interesting for both spouses, because any positive communication will definitely benefit.

If there is a desire to understand in more detail the mental causes of their problems, spouses are advised to read books by authors such as Louise Hay, Mark Sandomirsky, Franz Alexander, Nikolai Guriev. These authors analyze in detail the psychological causes of certain disorders, including infertility, and suggest effective options for getting out of the vicious circle in which infertile couples usually fall: "guilt - fear - infertility - fear - guilt."