How to calm down a crying child (31 tips. Part 2). + 5 steps according to Harvey Karp's method

A selection of the most successful and effective tips from different parents on how to calm a crying baby. Also, a description of the Harvey Karp method, which will help calm your baby and bring the long-awaited peace of mind to the house.

All babies cry, this is a normal part of development. Some parents can tolerate prolonged crying of their baby, but some cannot put up with it. The baby's crying inevitably affects you and makes you tense and restless, signals to you that something is wrong with your baby. These feelings are completely normal.

The main reasons for crying:

From hunger;
Wet diapers / diaper;
Uncomfortable or uncomfortable in diaper / clothes;
The child is hot or cold;
Colic or gas (stomach ache), constipation;
Diaper rash;
Teeth are cut;
The child is just tired.

A detailed article on the reasons for a crying baby: why the child is crying (and how to understand the reasons)

How to calm a baby 0 - 3 months. Harvey Karp Method

Harvey Karp is a 20-year pediatrician and assistant professor of pediatrics at the Southern California Institute of Medicine. He is the author of two books: "The happiest baby in the neighborhood: How to calm the cry of a newborn" and "New upbringing: without tears and conflicts". He developed a methodology consisting of 5 steps to calm down a crying child.

Harvey Karp's method is based on the unconditioned reflexes of the child. The essence of the theory (and active practice) lies in the fact that the best calming for the baby is creating conditions that resemble the time when he grew up in his mother's tummy.

Swaddling. It is necessary to swaddle the baby tightly so that the baby does not wiggle his arms. Why? The uterus was quite cramped, but comfortable and safe. Swaddling can create similar conditions. (If the swaddle is weak, the baby will swaddle again and scream).
Lateral position. The position of the baby on its side or on the stomach in your arms. Babies should sleep on their backs, but they calm down best on their side or stomach. Face slightly down. You will need to find a position in which your baby calms down. You can put it on your stomach on your hand. Dads especially love to do this. See for yourself: if you turn the crying baby on its side or on its stomach, it calms down.
White noise or “boo”. Have you noticed that many newborns sleep better to the rhythmic hum of household appliances or the hiss of the radio? Try to bring a crying baby to a working hood. Surely he will stop crying. White noise mimics the sound of a mother's heart. You need to “hiss” or “hiss” loudly. As loud as he cries. If you yourself are passionate about something, you may not hear the phone ringing. So are the children. You need to boo hard enough, leaning towards their ear, and reduce the noise level as the baby calms down.
Rocking the child. Rhythmic wiggle.Motion sickness can be different. Shaking back and forth does not give the desired sensations. The technique of “shaking the baby's head in his open palm” should be used. Place the baby in your arms, face down, with his head resting on your palm. And start wiggling. This is the sensation he experienced in the womb. So you can rock the baby at least all day without harming him. The newborn relaxes and feels comfortable. For those who are afraid to swing, so as not to accustom them to their hands, we recall that the child swung in the stomach throughout the pregnancy. And since, in fact, a newborn is not yet quite a child, but rather a “fetus”, it cannot be spoiled.
Sucking.Last but not least. Breastfeeding is one of the most effective ways to soothe a newborn. If the baby has chosen a position on his stomach, you can put your finger in his mouth, satisfying the sucking reflex.

In the experience of Harvey Karp himself, sometimes it is enough to apply one or two of the techniques from this list to make the child stop crying and worrying. But often you have to use all five methods sequentially. According to the doctor, these simple methods, together or separately, help in almost 100 percent of cases.

More tips

In the works of pediatrician T. Berry Braselton, various reasons for crying in an infant are described. As already mentioned at the beginning of the article, crying can cause pain, hunger, boredom, colic, and various inconveniences. The baby also cries at the end of the day to relieve tension. If you don't know why he is hysterical, then start eliminating these reasons one by one. At the same time, try not to panic, stay calm. If you worry, the baby will feel it and cry even more. Below are some tips to complement the Harvey Karp method.

Make sure all of your child's needs are met: dry diaper, he is not too hot or too cold, comfortable in his crib and so on.
Speak softly or sing to your little one, play soft music. Your presence and voice can be soothing.
Cuddle, the closeness of a parent is soothing.
Talk to your baby. Let him know that you are near and will soon come. Sometimes the child simply lacks the feeling of mother's warmth. You can put a breast pad soaked in your milk on it, take it with you to bed, let you hear your mother's heartbeat.
If there is no obvious reason to cry, try giving your baby some water. If he is hungry, he will give it up. Then you should give him something to eat. If crying continues during feeding, then the baby may have irritation on the mucous membrane. Or the middle ear is inflamed.
Try giving your baby a gentle massage. This will help calm him down and help you relax, as well as strengthen the bonds between you and your baby. (See how to massage).
Check for teeth. In this case, the child saliva flows, and he bites his fingers. And you will need to gently massage his gums with clean hands. Also try using a special ointment available at pharmacies.
Make the environment comfortable. Sometimes a baby can just get tired of how many things surround him. For a while, remove all toys from it, make the room softer lighting. He may also be uncomfortable in a diaper, in this position, clothes. Eventually, his diaper could overflow.
Touch the back of the baby's head. The skin in this area should not be too cool or too warm. In the first case, put on extra clothing. In the second, measure the temperature, undress and after half an hour check the temperature again.
Help relieve colic. Press your legs to your tummy, exercise "bike". You can also put the baby on your lap, having spread a warm diaper, wear it with your tummy on your palm, placing your head on the bend of your arm. Sometimes, instead of a warm diaper, a bag of flax seeds is used, which keeps warm better. Massage your tummy clockwise. The gas outlet tube will help free the baby's intestines from gases. (See detailed tips on how to help your baby with colic).
Provide tactile contact. Place your undressed baby on your bare belly. Give him a massage. Touch the back, legs, arms, tummy. Play magpie.
Bathe in a warm bath. This relaxes the child, relieves anxiety. It also sometimes helps if you just rub his face with cool water.
Go out with him for a walk. At the same time, it will be good if you wear it in a sling. It combines three points from Harvey Karp's methods: swaddling, rocking, and street white noise. You can also ride it in the car.
Help release the air. When crying, a baby swallows a lot of excess air. This brings additional discomfort. Therefore, you need to pick him up and hold him upright so that he can burp. Remember to do this after each feeding.
Move together while dancing. Smooth movements, your calm speech, swaying and his favorite uncomplicated melody can have a positive effect. After the dance, press him to you, give him some water, a pacifier.
Transfer the child's attention to external objects. A number of parenting tips and findings are based on switching the baby's attention. In addition to common methods, each mother can have her own "key" to the peace of the baby. It can be a noisy toy that vibrates, such as a music carousel.

Below is a list of these "keys" from different parents. Perhaps one of them is right for you:

Take the child and bring it to the window, then to another, thus showing different pictures. Display picture cards.
Read your favorite poems.
Talk to your child in different ways. Describe your every action out loud.
Show him objects of different color, size, shape. First right in front of him, then drive from side to side.
Open the water tap. The sound of water can play the role of "white noise".
Rumble with keys or something else.
Blow on his forehead.
Place fragrant bags with chamomile, mint, sandalwood next to it.
Let him hold them one at a time. You can also make the bags different to the touch by filling them with such contents: cereals, sand, decorative stones.
Try to spin around with your child, holding him in your arms.
Let other relatives take the baby in their arms.
Hang some spinning toys over his crib.
Use a projector lamp to captivate your child with the light images on the walls.
Show him the houseplants.
Have the baby look at himself in the mirror.

Popular wisdom can also come to the rescue if you trust its advice. First of all, in the old days it was forbidden to talk about misfortunes with an unhealthy child. Secondly, it was impossible to call him bad words, to scold him. Only singing was allowed. According to psychologists, this advice is not unfounded. In such a critical state of hysteria, the baby will perceive every word very painfully, fix it in the subconscious. And that can get you into trouble in adulthood. So try to control your emotions. As difficult as it is, remember that you can influence your child's future.

On this topic: 10 tips to stop yelling at your kids

There is also a folk remedy for the evil eye: slide your palm three times over the baby's face, washing him with cool water. At the same time, say these words: "Like water off a duck, as water from a swan, so with (child's name) - thinness".

It must be remembered that such calming methods can often distract the child from negative emotions only for a while. For a deeper understanding of the issue, it is recommended to read the book by Aleta Salter "What to do when a baby cries?"

It should be understood that everything is individual. Different techniques can be effective depending on the situation and time. You know your child better than anyone. Take the baby in your arms more often, and not just when he cries. Don't worry about spoiling your little one. It will not happen. On the contrary, if you only respond to crying, your baby will quickly figure it out and cry constantly to get your attention.

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