When a young mother is going to leave the decree, the family faces an important question: "Who should the child stay with?" Some decide to entrust the care of the baby to the older generation. Others seek help from a professional nanny. Both options have clear pros and cons. And yet, who is better - a grandmother or a nanny?
A native person or a woman invited from outside? A listing of the advantages and disadvantages of this difficult choice can be found on the pages of magazines and on numerous women's forums. So my friends advise: "What kind of nanny if the baby has a grandmother?" But the words of the opposite side also have a reason - sometimes it is easier to find a common language with a nanny than with a close relative. So who should you choose?
Dear grandmother
It would seem that if there is a grandmother, then it is not even worth considering other options. Native people are often happy to agree to sit with the children. However, such a rosy picture does not always develop.
What should be considered?
- Amount of time. Raising a baby is not a carefree pastime, but hard work. Your assistant has a 50-hour workweek if you work eight hours a day plus travel time (if you work far from home). Be sure to ask if your grandmother will agree to this, so that in case of refusal to have time to pick up a nanny. In addition, she can be physically difficult, especially if the grandmother is many years old or she is unwell.
- Grandma's mood. Take the psychological readiness of your mom or mother-in-law very seriously. If the grandmother offers help without much enthusiasm, you should not expect anything good from this decision. Very soon, a woman will begin to be annoyed by the constant employment, the inability to rest properly. She will spill negativity onto you or the child. Agree, conflicts are inevitable. On the other hand, there are those grandmothers who perceive caring for their grandchildren as a real happiness, they are always ready to help out young parents.
Benefits
- If we talk about the health and safety of the child, then it is difficult to find a more reliable person than a grandmother. It remains to be seen how an unfamiliar aunt will behave with your baby. And a loving grandmother, who sincerely wants to sit with children, will always make sure that the grandson is fed, dressed warmly and does not pick up sharp or hot objects.
- Most likely, the grandmother will raise the child for free, considering his love as the best reward. Agree, this is quite beneficial for the family budget. Of course, it also happens that parents pay extra to their own mothers, but these amounts are an order of magnitude less than paying for the services of professional nannies.
- The child is constantly under the supervision of the same person, who is well known and experienced in matters of education. In addition, the baby will not need to get used to the new nanny.
- Grandma's help is especially invaluable when a newborn appears in the family. The grandmother who raised her children is a real professional: she knows how to handle babies, can give advice on feeding, putting to bed, and dispels the fears of an inexperienced mother.
disadvantages
- It is not easy to make claims to the older generation if you do not pay for the hours spent with your baby. Sometimes it happens that your grandmother, while doing you a favor, begins to interfere in the affairs of your family: she criticizes housekeeping, relationships with your spouse, and methods of raising children.
- Grandmothers often pamper their beloved grandchildren: they rush to their aid at first request (dress, shoe already grown children), do not insist on naps, buy sweets forbidden by their parents - numerous candies and chocolates. This leads to the fact that the child grows up dependent or begins to manipulate adults: "I'm going to live with my granny!" Some grandmothers, on the contrary, consider it their duty to bring up an independent personality, which is why they constantly pull and criticize the baby.
- You and your mother's (mother-in-law) may have different views of parenting. You want to play educational games with a crumb, read useful books, develop fingers. The grandmother, on the other hand, may consider such activities unimportant and put the child in front of the TV - let him watch cartoons. Or, for cooking and household chores, she will not have time to spend time with her baby.
- The grandmother also has urgent matters, which she can warn about at the last moment. Finally, she has the right to simply refuse the role of a nurse and teacher, citing fatigue and a desire to be in silence.
Professional nanny
Most mothers are tormented by the question: "Can a nanny become a close person for my child?" Many parents are wary of accepting strangers as helpers, despite positive reviews and recommendations from other employers. Still, there are advantages to the babysitting situation.
What should be considered?
Age and education. It is necessary that the nanny has a special education (teacher, nurse, psychologist) or experience in kindergarten. Knowledge of early development techniques is also encouraged. For a home teacher, age is also important. A young nanny is more active, with her the baby can run and jump. Middle-aged ladies are more experienced, still full of energy and strength, but not so easy-going. Older women are wise and strict, less mobile, often have their own views on all issues of education.
Benefits
- Modern nannies are real professionals, proficient in many methods - from developing self-service skills to literacy and preparation for school (it all depends on your needs). With a good nanny, you can not be afraid that you will find your baby in front of the TV.
- You pay money, which means that there is no longer that feeling, as with your grandmother, that they are doing you a favor. The nanny can dictate the conditions, express your own requirements regarding the upbringing of the baby, caring for him, determine the range of responsibilities and make adjustments to her work (19 rules that the nanny must follow).
- Thanks to the commodity-money relationship with the nanny, it is easier to agree that she would sit with the child on the day off or stay late after work. And you also don't have to get scolded by your mother or mother-in-law for the slightest delay or unplanned trip to a cafe.
disadvantages
- The nanny is a stranger in the house, she will not be able to give the child as much love, care, attention and warmth as her own grandmother (We also read: girlfriend as a nanny - for and against).
- Parents take great risks by allowing strangers to interact with their baby, despite all the assurances of the recruitment agencies. It is impossible to predict how the nanny will behave with crumbs and expensive things. The risk is reduced if you hire an employee on the recommendation of friends (We also read: how to choose a nanny).
- Experienced nannies develop their own style of communication with employers and children. They often think they know better than their parents how to raise a child.
- A good helper costs a lot of money. Not all families have financial means to pay for babysitting services. You can save money if you do not contact an agency, but write an ad on the Internet on a specialized forum. However, remember that praise and comments may not always be true (We also read: 8 Tips When Choosing A Nanny).
If harmony and complete mutual understanding reign in a relationship with a grandmother, you should not reject her help and desire to be with grandchildren. If there are disagreements between you on the education and upbringing of the younger generation, it is better to use the services of a professional nanny. Thus, you will be able to maintain peace in the family, and your mother or mother-in-law will remain a beloved grandmother for the baby.
Five cases when grandparents should be stopped - https://razvitie-krohi.ru/eto-polezno-znat/reshaem-problemyi-spora-pokoleniy-5-situatsiy-kogda-neobhodimo-skazat-stop-babushke-i- dedushke.html
GRANDMA VERY PALUTS GRANDCHILDREN AND ALLOWS THEM - HOW TO RESPOND TO THE PARENTS? - https://razvitie-krohi.ru/eto-polezno-znat/babushka-chrezmerno-baluet-vnukov-i-vse-im-pozvolyaet-chto-delat-roditelyam.html
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