Being a good mother is not difficult. But what about grandmothers? After all, no one writes books about how to become the favorite of their grandchildren. There are only tips for moms everywhere. And who will teach the older generation? To get started, memorize 15 stop phrases that you should never say:
"I'm older, so I know better"
Believe me, with these words you are more likely to irritate your children and grandchildren, but not respect! Of course, a huge life experience can come in handy at times. But by uttering this phrase you literally humiliate a person, as if hiding its second meaning: "You are not mature yet!"
"In our times, this was not the case"
If you are already undertaking to teach your children and give them valuable instructions, then reason objectively. Your times are long gone, there is no reason to rely on them or transfer the old charters to the modern world. The planet can change dramatically in a year or two, let alone decades! Throw out of your head everything that has long lost its relevance.
"You do not protect my heart"
You don't need to achieve your goals using such low manipulative techniques. Because eventually your family will get tired of it and they will no longer take any of your complaints seriously. Remember the tale of the boy who shouted about the wolf? That's the same!
"Who dresses children like that?"
Or "How can you wear this on the street?" We understand that you are out of the best intentions! But since your parents decided to dress your grandchildren in this way, then it must be accepted. After all, this is not your child, any grandmother has much less rights in raising children than their own mother. And yes: perhaps you are just a little behind modern fashion?
"And I think that ..."
Grandmothers always like to prove their case. And they do it with special zeal, ultimately silently resentful. A sense of tact should prompt you to share your opinion when asked. Or at least announce it politely. But in no way should one enter into heated polemics, crushing them with his authority.
"What will eventually grow out of a child"
Any grandmother passionately adores her own grandchildren. And worries about their distant future. But by uttering such a phrase, you offend both the grandchildren and their parents in the most direct context. After all, it sounds like you seriously think that they are not coping with their upbringing, or they are doing poorly. What kind of mother or father would like it?
"He needs strict discipline"
Discipline is a very subtle matter. There is no need to be afraid that the grandson will grow up to be a sissy if the parents communicate with him affectionately, and at the same time he understands everything.
"I do not insist, but ..."
Another clever phrase from the arsenal of manipulating grandmothers. On the one hand, you seem to immediately inform the person that you just want to share innocent advice, and on the other hand, you immediately poke them in the face, and even at any moment you threaten to become an offended and misunderstood party. Let your loved ones decide what to do, especially when it comes to their own child.
"Of course, I'm not the nicest grandmother"
Uh, uh! Stop. There is no need to extort a confession of your exclusiveness. And stop being jealous of another grandmother. Don't drive wedges into the relationship. If there are two of you, grandmothers, then you should live with this.
"I haven't seen you in three weeks."
So what? The more you complain, the more it feels like harassment. Surprise! Your children and grandchildren also have their own lives: work, study, friends. Do not pull the blanket of attention exclusively to yourself. No one has ever loved anyone under duress.
"You are just like a father"
Or mother. Or sister, second cousin niece - it doesn't matter. You cannot use a comparison with a failed (in your opinion) relative. Any negative comparisons should be ruled out.
"Are you sure it's safe?"
Actually, yes. Most parents take care of their children. And if their child climbs the horizontal bars like a monkey, they probably thought what to allow. How to become a good grandmother in our time.
"A neighbor's son has gone already at five months old"
It's great if other people's children are ahead of the pace of development. But you don't need to transfer this to your own grandchildren. All children are individual and develop in different ways. And yes, such statements will hurt any mother!
"What are you feeding him with?"
Excuse me, but do you work in the Ministry of Health? Or at least read their current nutritional guidelines? Do you know that no one gives cow's milk to children under one year old? Then how can you know about what is not allowed?
"I live only exclusively for you"
You don't have to live exclusively for someone, this is a veiled accusation. Try to live for yourself. And to communicate with the younger ones only when it is truly a joy to both you and them. Young star grannies
- TOP 10 bad advice from grandmothers
- the role of grandparents in raising a child
