Some children's questions are literally baffling. Without being prepared, some parents translate the topic or call their children's questions stupid, thereby offending them. How can you learn to answer awkward questions from your son or daughter and thereby strengthen their confidence in yourself?
Well-known psychologist Wayne Fleizing warns parents not to evade answering a child's question if it was unexpected for you. It is better to tell the children that you will definitely give an answer, only you need to think first.
Signs and empty excuses of parents - who has not encountered this in childhood? Ignoring children's questions causes a feeling of resentment and disappointment in both small why children (see the article - the age of why children) and teenagers. So that your children do not get upset, try to be sure to answer their question. Here are just a few ideas on how to do it.
Why are you leaving for work?
It is difficult for children to explain how important a career is for a person, they do not understand the topic of financial well-being. The child just wants to be with his parents more often... Instead of long stories that at work they pay money for which you make purchases - food, clothes, toys, pay for all sorts of services, just give your child a little attention. Play with it, do a craft together, or take a walk.
To prevent children from developing a negative attitude towards work, never tell him that you do not like your job and do not want to go there. On the contrary, talk about your activities in a positive way. Let him know - even while at work, you think about him, miss him and wait for the time to meet with the child. Let him know that his photograph is on your desk and you look at it often.
On a passing question about why other parents do not go to work for the whole day, explain - in different families it is customary to act differently, everyone decides for himself whether to work or not.
Why don't I have this toy, but everyone has it?
The competitive spirit often awakens the desire in children to have something that their mates have, such as an interactive toy or a new mobile phone. In this regard, adolescence is especially difficult, because children do not want to be a “black sheep”, being different from others. It is important to understand that words about existing toys or things will not take effect, children simply will not hear them.
Try to find another key - first tell the child that you understand his feelings, you share them. This will help set the stage for further conversation. Next, say that you were just going to give the desired thing to him for the upcoming birthday.
When a teenager asks this question, offer him a solution to the problem, allowing you to independently accumulate the required amount for the purchase. By doing so, you will teach him the value of money, thereby preparing him for adulthood. If the conversation did not bring any result - the child continues to insist on his own, just close this topic.
Mom, are we rich?
Young children do not understand the true meaning of the word "wealth", they can only compare themselves and their family with others. Having heard how one of the friends brags in front of everyone about the purchase of his father - a new car or a house, the child can draw conclusions about the material well-being of his parents. Learning about troubles at work with a father or mother, the baby may misinterpret the information and be afraid that you will have nothing to eat or nowhere to live.
Did you understand your son or daughter's question correctly? What lies behind it - simple curiosity or fear? Ask your child what he means by wealth. Perhaps for him, being rich means being able to buy whatever he wants.
If your family really needs money, kids need to be honest about it.... It is worth explaining that at the moment you have to live on a modest amount and manage funds wisely, buying only what you need. At the same time, let your baby know - regardless of the circumstances, you will always take care of his needs.
Why do other kids ignore me?
If the baby asks about this, it means that he still feels lonely in his environment - at school or in the garden. You should not dismiss his words, calling them stupid - they may hide a real problem. Try to find out if no one is friends with the child, or just that day someone didn't play with him.
Tell your son or daughter that this sometimes happens to everyone, and that the feeling of resentment and anger is inherent in everyone. Explain that friends will definitely appear, it's just a matter of time. Teach children from an early age to control emotions and find a common language with peers so that in the future they will become successful people... It will not be superfluous to have a conversation with the teacher - ask how your child communicates with children in class or in a group.
Will there be a disaster with us?
The mass media are literally full of reports of disasters happening everywhere - floods, terrorist attacks, earthquakes. Children take this information to heart, trying it on themselves. To protect them from unnecessary worries, limit the viewing of news channels in the presence of young viewers and do not discuss the tragedy in front of them.
Listen to your son or daughter, let them share their fears with you, and then reassure them by saying that nothing like this will happen to your family. If, nevertheless, there is a high probability of surviving a disaster, do not lie to the baby, but reassure of your protection... Mention also about all kinds of rescue services, the work of doctors and the police, who are always ready to help people in distress.
Is our grandmother dying?
If a close relative is seriously ill in the family, it makes no sense to hide your own feelings from the children. If this topic is constantly avoided, the baby may feel guilty. It is best to sit down and talk to him about the disease, clarify the causes of the disease, as well as the possible consequences.
Tell your child that the doctors are trying to help, they are doing everything in their power, but some diseases do not respond to treatment. Babies have a strong fear of losing their family, especially their mother. To reassure them, it is enough to assure that the parents are healthy and will stay with them for a long time.
Mom and Dad, are you getting a divorce?
If the parents quarrel, there is a chance that the child will misinterpret their behavior - think about their separation and divorce. This is a real trauma for both toddlers and teenagers, because the relationship between father and mother is a role model for them... This is why it is important to show respect for each other, even in times of disagreement.
Explain that you are not planning to get divorced or live separately, and if you are not, then tell the children the truth. The main thing for children is to be confident in parental love and care and that they will not be abandoned.
Having once brushed aside an awkward question because you were not prepared for it, be sure to start this conversation later. Gently and calmly explain to your child what he asked about. By doing so, you show your interest and concern.
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- Video: How to Answer Children's Questions About Sex, Death, Smoking and Drugs
