Mothers who are raising several young children know firsthand what daily stress is. Day after day, their children conflict with each other, compete in who is better, and try to attract attention by crying. Constant quarrels, teasing, shouting and fights for the title of master of the house can drive even quite balanced, calm mothers crazy. They begin to think that ideal children are everything, but not their own. If you are well aware of what is at stake and want to correct the child's behavior, we offer an effective action plan for the next week.
Correct reaction is the key to success!
Your wrong reaction can make the bad behavior of your children worse. Even if you feel that your nerves are stretched to the limit and the degree of irritability increases with lightning speed, you should not start education with the transition to a cry. Children tend to fall into a daze from too loud a voice and parents' tantrum. They perceive the raised tone as a direct threat and completely stop responding to what they are told.
A special result will not follow with a polite appeal to the kids. When asked to change behavior, the child should not be expected to respond with humble consent and become almost perfect. A complete fix can be achieved through well thought out action in just one week. And you can start on Monday!
Day one: trying to ignore
You can start applying a behavior improvement strategy by analyzing your mistakes. First you need to determine what your actions during childish clashes are not entirely correct. Surely, like other mothers, you react too emotionally to the bad behavior of your children. A negative reaction in conflict situations is considered by many parents to be a better action than no reaction. This opinion is shared by the American doctor of philosophy, child clinical psychologist - Ed Christophersen.
This strategy needs to be changed and try not to interfere with the child's quarrel. If the situation is simply ignored, nothing supernatural and terrible will happen, you will not become deaf from children's screams, and your children will not send each arc to traumatology. And about your new approach to conflict, you can notify the children at breakfast. Tell them that you are starting the game "I see nothing, I hear nothing."
Day two: thinking positively
Your morning may start with a fear that the tomboy conflict will continue. This development of events becomes a reality when you yourself subconsciously set a negative program for the day. Try to think positively! Think of those cloudless days when children got along well with each other - and this behavior can miraculously repeat itself.
When the youngest child complains that he cannot put together a new mosaic on his own, invite him to do what he already knows well to do. If the toddler continues to be capricious and insist on playing with the puzzle, the older child will probably rush to help and share his experience. Thank him for his initiative and kindness towards his brother or sister, and remind the children that you are proud of both of them.
Day three: we organize a joint walk
The next stage of interaction is aimed at pacifying children's whims. Tell the little ones in the morning that they have an exciting day at the amusement park, and give them 10 minutes to pack. Children clearly do not want to miss the bus and stay at home and will try to pack up faster than they do on normal weekdays. The positive experience of the second day can be applied here as well. Praise the older brother for helping the younger brother get dressed, and the latter for his composure and obedience. Your compliments will be a pleasant encouragement, and a joint walk will bring the whole family closer and give a joyful mood.
Day four: doing justice
Parents are mistaken when they think their kids purposefully want to throw them off balance. They convict the kids of testing them for strength, throwing tantrums more and more often and on a large scale. In contrast to this opinion, the author of children's books on psychology G.Unru believes that all the whims of children are justified. And attention should be focused on the feelings that arise from the ugly behavior of babies. The situation that has arisen must be assessed fairly. Children will feel understood and will calmly endure the punishment for the offense.
In a situation when the older sister pushes her brother for breaking her beads, the mother will want to side with the baby and scold the older one. Instead of this approach, you should take a neutral position and say: “It is normal that you are angry with your brother for a torn thing. BUT, you should go to your room, calm down and reflect on your behavior. You must understand that you shouldn't have hit him back. " With these words, you will make it clear to your daughter that you understand her, but you want her to also answer for her wrongdoing.
Day five: follow the sequence
How you deal with the heightened emotionality of your children depends on your mood at a particular moment. Your own mood will have to be controlled. Bertie Bregman, chief of family medicine in New York, recommends that parents be consistent. You should be clear about your expectations and avoid your own emotional impulses. Prepare and use a template phrase in response to the baby's protests.
Anticipate tantrums with calm responses. When you are whimsical about the lack of toothpaste with your favorite smell, say: "You will brush your teeth with the toothpaste that is, and you will not be upset because this is unworthy behavior for a boy." Or: "You will eat for dinner what I have prepared for everyone, and you will not be upset ...". When a child gets used to such a phrase, his childish protests will noticeably decrease.
Day six: changing the rules
On Saturday you can tackle the bad habits of the kids. The time they usually spend watching cartoons, playing games on a phone or tablet, and battling for control of a remote control or gadgets will have to be occupied with more useful things. Although, concern for the mental health of the younger generation will be met with hostility.
Breaking the rules that have already taken shape in the family will cause screams and protests (even if all the previous Saturdays you have hosted family viewing of children's comedies, today will be an exception to the rule). You can suppress them easily, as you did on Monday. Children will understand that attempts to pull the blanket over to their side are unsuccessful, they will read books or be creative, and you can safely cook lunch or dinner.
Day seven: family-style rest
Mothers should also have vacations and weekends, like all people. Sunday is just that free day, which is usually filled with household chores. While doing household chores, mothers forget that they can spend this time with their children. The love and tenderness that they give cannot be compared with anything! And the task of the seventh, Sunday, day is to postpone washing and cleaning and go to nature with the whole family. You can take a ball with you, play badminton or football, organize a picnic, watch birds and plants. During such a wonderful pastime, hardly anyone will be capricious, fight or throw tantrums. Family vacations will bring pleasure and good emotions to everyone!
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