As a child, I, like all girls, played with dolls. In practice, everything is completely different.
In any practice, what is most important? Quickly remember the most basic, the rest will come with experience. This also works with motherhood. In the first week after returning from the hospital with Artyomka, I began to develop five wonderful habits. For a year and a half, life has changed completely.
Analyze everything around
My head has turned into a super mega processor. Thousands of details, hundreds of gigs of useful and not so useful information every second. All this needs to be processed and understand what the tiny man wants. Guess by a couple of whimpers: he is hot. Compare the amount eaten with the contents of the diaper and draw a conclusion about health. Keep a grocery list in your head, don't forget about formula and diapers. When entering any room, turn on the "built-in scanner": are there any sharp corners and dangerous objects for the baby, such as protruding wires or fallen scissors. But I'm not a robot. Misfires happened, especially when Artyom began to crawl, and then walk. Crawling into a cat's bowl with your little hands, throwing a mobile phone into the bucket for cleaning the floor, tearing off the curtain ... Am I a fool? No, it's just that the internal database does not have enough time to update. The irrepressible interest of the little fidget in everything around is growing many times faster.
Mother is sleeping, the service is in progress
Before, I didn't think that you can sleep and do something else at the same time. You can, how! When I sleep, I hear a child. If he suddenly breathes somehow wrong, I wake up and jump up, as if from an electric shock. It doesn't matter where he is: by his side or in his crib a few meters away from me. The husband does not know how and is very surprised. For him, sleep is a dream, and looking after a child is looking after a child. Oh, yes, during these three hours half-sleep I also manage to get enough sleep.
Julius Caesar resting
All my things began to be done faster once every twenty. The hour and a half while the child sleeps, you strive to use it to the maximum. Artyom is sniffling in a stroller on the balcony, and I clean up, cook dinner, drink tea. Then I take a shower and doze myself for twenty minutes. All of this would have taken me hours before. The secret is that you strive to combine business with pleasure, useful with useful, or ... well, you get the idea. You pour tea with one hand, with the other you order diapers from the online store. Multitasking is our everything!
Spy passions
Now you have to have sex as quickly as possible, almost at lightning speed. We need to be in time, while the little "spy" is sleeping and has not yet made it out that his mother is not guarding his sleep by the bed. And one more feature. We used to lash out at each other in the kitchen or hallway just for a change. Now the place has ceased to matter to us. I don't remember when we did it in bed. Because in bed you instantly fall asleep.
Without a dictionary
Artyom says the same "agu", but with its help he sometimes asks for pens, then hints at a snack, then demands his mother's phone. Over time, I learned to capture all the shades of infant language. But what kind of injustice? Why am I learning his language and not vice versa? After all, it is he who is growing, and not I am decreasing. No, my dear man, come on, you learn our adult language. I had to learn about forty nursery rhymes, fifty songs from cartoons and eighty-eight lullabies. Ay-doo-doo, and-ta-ta ... Sometimes I catch myself thinking, but have I forgotten the human language? No, it seemed. It seems so far I speak passably and even write on it.
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