Do not think that parents are arguing solely to amuse a sick vanity. It's just that everyone looks at raising a child from their own bell tower. And each of the parents has a unique life experience, a unique family history. Let's discuss seven controversial issues in parenting and how, after all, you can come to reasonable agreements.
1. Child safety
Usually mothers are distinguished by increased anxiety and caution. Fathers, on the other hand, believe that he and the child are for that, to try the world and himself for strength. Let it fall while small, while the bones are soft - the body learns, it's okay. And the mother's heart skips a beat when the faithful puts the child on his shoulders and rushes around the apartment with him. Women have hundreds of stories of how frivolous fathers maimed a poor child. Dad is offended to hear this. You might think he's a bad parent and loves your baby less than you do. We advise you to remember not scary stories, but videos on the Internet about how great time fathers are with their children.
2. TV
Let's not be cunning, cartoons are a wonderful way to devote at least 10 minutes to yourself, go to the shower, eat, talk on the phone. But only 10, a responsible mother will drown in guilt if she leaves the child with a zombie box for an hour. Dad with passion will revisit with the child "Cars", "Ninja Turtles" and "Finding Nemo". He'll also buy popcorn. However, this is the next item on our program.
3. Harmful food
Yes, popcorn, pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers and other fast food are the favorite children's food. Let the mother chew her leaf of lettuce, and the child needs something tasty and cool. When mom begins to talk about the dangers of fried and breaded, advocating for steam cutlets, the father only bends and ironic - living in general is harmful.
But the hostess cooks at home, and still the child will eat what she has prepared. But dad, bringing his daughter or son "out into the light", does not see a crime in gluttony by chance. So every trip to the circus or cinema, every walk with dad turns into a "feast of the belly."
4. Toys
Mom buys lots of cute trivia: collections of clothes for countless dolls and Barbies, plastic teenage mutant ninja turtles, dinosaurs. The father looks at such squandering with disapproval. He believes that instead of a garage for low-quality Chinese cars, it is better to buy one solid radio-controlled model. Reproaching mom for extravagance, dad completely loses his head at the sight of a large car, which he could climb into if he wanted to. Who is the biggest spender in the end? The spouses will argue about this until they are hoarse.
5. Additional activities
Many boys in childhood experienced the tyranny of mothers, who certainly wanted to teach them music, dancing or painting. And the guy wanted to drive the puck. And vice versa: my daughter dreamed of singing and drawing, and dad told me to go to accountants.
Everyone brings their experience and unfulfilled dreams to a young family. Dad enrolls his son in judo, and you faint: you have such a gentle boy! But dad can bend his knees when he gets a bill for his daughter's ballroom dancing equipment. Darling, wasn't it easier to send the girl to the drawing club? If only someone would have guessed to ask the child himself. And away we go ...
6. Order and discipline
These are mothers who sit with children and know that the daily routine makes life much easier: the child eats with appetite, falls asleep on time and is less capricious. Dads prefer spontaneity. Before going to bed, he wanted to rave with his son, whom he missed while he was at work all day, and your whining that the child is now overexcited and will not fall asleep for a long time does not touch him much.
Dad can be understood - he is at work all day, he loves his baby. You will feel like a vicious shrew twice. First, trying to interrupt their "merry dancing", then at night, when daddy snores peacefully, and you cannot calm down the child, whose regime has completely lost its way.
7. Grandma next to grandfather
A rare man will find fault with the methods of your mother in raising a child, but the actions of the mother-in-law often cause not the most optimistic emotions for the daughters-in-law - she fed them sweets before dinner, wrapped them up too much before a walk, if at all went for this walk, and so on. As a result, you start complaining to your beloved about his mother, and he is his mother, which is logical, to defend and justify, to prove that she is the same grandmother as your mother, and has the right to communicate with the baby the way she wants and how much she wants.
So - don't complain to your husband about your mother-in-law. Make an agreement with your grandmother herself. Discuss all the subtleties of the regime and the menu as delicately as possible, get her to follow the rules of your young family in communicating with the child. She will still violate the "charter." But psychologists say it's not that scary. The experience of communicating with the "liberal" grandmother is also useful for the baby. In the end, she somehow raised your husband, and how cool he turned out to be, which means she won't hurt her grandson either.
