Now many parents practice joint sleep with their baby, especially in the first months of the baby's life. This way of laying down not only makes it easier for mom to feed at night, but also has other benefits. Is there any disadvantages for an infant to sleep with parents and how easy is it to wean the child from the habit of sleeping in the parent's bed?
Pros for the baby
- The baby falls asleep faster and sleeps more calmly, hearing the mother's heartbeat and feeling the warmth of the parents. In such an environment, he feels safe and protected.
- The baby does not have to part with her parents during sleep, which is stressful for many children.
- The newborn's breathing, as well as his heartbeat, become more rhythmic around his parents. In addition, carbon dioxide exhaled by adults, getting into the airways of the crumbs, stimulates the baby's respiratory center. These factors reduce the risk of sudden death syndrome.
- Next to mom and dad, the baby can more easily endure poor health.
- The child does not overheat next to the parents, as some of his heat is transferred to the cool bodies of adults.
- The baby gets more tactile contact with mom and dad, which is important for the full development of his nervous system.
Pros for parents
- The child is always under supervision, because the parents hear and see the baby.
- It is much easier for a baby who is hungry to calm down by latching on to the breast if mom is lying next to him. Mom does not need to get up and interrupt sleep, which helps her to get better rest at night. In addition, sucking at night is essential for adequate lactation.
- Sleeping together will help out when the parents spend little time with the baby during the day, for example, if the mother starts working and leaves for a long time during the day.
- Thanks to sleeping with a baby, the mother is well aware of the child's needs and can respond quickly to them.
- Sleeping the baby in the parent's bed helps the mother cope with postpartum depression, anxiety and fears.
Minuses
Parents may not get enough sleep if they are afraid to disturb the baby's sleep or are restricted in a place to sleep. A young mother may be prevented from falling asleep next to the baby by the fear that she is able to crush the baby in her sleep. In fact, if the mother's brain is not affected by alcohol, sleeping pills or drugs, she will be sensitive to the movements of the baby during sleep. But from the side of the dad, there is such a danger, therefore, it is better to choose a place near the wall for laying the baby.
The baby next to her makes it impossible to have a sex life in her parents' bed. It happens that a mother deliberately puts the baby in her bed in order to avoid intimacy with her husband. This can develop into serious problems between spouses.
It is believed that babies sleeping with their parents are more dependent on them. Indeed, such children have stronger attachment to their parents, but with age their needs normalize. In addition, opponents of co-sleeping believe that sleeping in the parent's bed at night is simply not hygienic. However, this problem can be easily solved if you put a diaper on the bed for the baby, which can be washed often.
When you can't sleep together?
It is not recommended to put the child in the parent's bed if:
- Smoking or drinking alcohol by either parent;
- Great tiredness of the parents.
At what age should a child be taught to sleep in his crib?
The optimal age to transfer a baby, accustomed to sleeping on the parent's bed, to his own crib, is considered 2-3 years. After three years, the child already feels like a separate person and begins to need personal space. In addition, many infant fears have passed by this age.
How to wean?
It is not difficult to make sure that the baby no longer sleeps in the parents' bed, if you have patience and act gradually. You should immediately prepare for the fact that weaning can take more than one week or even more than one month.
To make the transition to your crib easier for the child, parents can be advised the following:
- Make sure that the baby is safe and there are no scary objects in the room.
- Together with the child, choose the bed that the baby likes, a beautiful pillow and blanket, as well as bed linen.
- Place your baby in his own bed for a nap.
- Let the baby choose a favorite toy with which he wants to sleep.
- Develop a specific bedtime ritual, such as singing a lullaby to your baby or reading a story.
- If the child is scared in the dark, you can leave the door to his room open and leave the night light on.
- First, put the baby's crib to the parent's and gradually move it further and further to the opposite wall, and then move it to another room.
- For a child over 3 years old, you can have a fun transition to sleep in their bed.
- Talk to your child and tell them that they are old enough to sleep in their own crib.
- Be prepared that the first time the little one will often resort to your bed.
What shouldn't be done?
To move to your crib, it is best to choose a period when the baby is calm. It is unacceptable to force a child to start sleeping separately if he is sick or is going through serious changes (went to kindergarten, moved to a new apartment, became an older brother).
You can’t threaten to sleep in the crib and say “if you are not obedient, you will go to your bed!”. Also, you should not blame the child for cowardice if he is afraid to sleep alone from his parents. In no case should you punish a kid for coming back to bed with his parents. Such overnight visits are not bad behavior or whims.
Note that parents should figure out their attitude to sleeping together from the very beginning. If one spouse welcomes the child's visits to his bed, and the other is opposed to them, the adults need to negotiate so as not to confuse the child. Be consistent and patient and your child will soon get used to sleeping in their own crib.
