Among infertile couples in Russia, about 15% require the help of a surrogate mother. Without her, the biologically native child of the spouses simply cannot be born. There are quite a few reasons for this - congenital and acquired anomalies in the development of the uterus, vagina, serious chronic ailments that are incompatible with pregnancy and childbirth, age. Also, surrogate motherhood can be useful for single men who dream of fatherhood, and single women suffering from total infertility. The main question is where to find the one who will be able to bear, give birth and give someone else's child, and what kind of reward she can demand. In this article, we will cover this in more detail.
Where to looking for?
In Russia, legislation does not limit the circle of persons who can become surrogate mothers. The only restrictions are dictated by the Ministry of Health - these are strict requirements for the health of the candidate, the presence of her own children, etc. In some countries, for example, in Israel, it is legally prohibited to choose a surrogate mother from among relatives. There is no such ban in our country. Therefore, the question of where to look for a woman who can bear your child can be answered like this:
- by friends and relatives (any relative of reproductive age will do);
- through specialized reproductive agencies;
- in a clinic in which an infertile woman is observed;
- through the Internet.
An independent search will help you save money, find a reliable person whom you trust without intermediaries.
However, remember that this medal has a downside - after the birth of a child, you are unlikely to want to see this relative or friend at your place, the relationship will deteriorate. This, alas, is inevitable.
Searching through the Internet seems tempting and rather easy, because when you search for a surrogate mother, you will definitely open a large number of forums and announcements. Good and proven gestational couriers (this is the official name for surrogate mothers on the recommendation of WHO) themselves do not want to become victims of scammers, and therefore they usually do not go to post their offer on the Internet.
But on the Internet, you will find a huge number of women who, even tomorrow, are ready to provide you with fake medical certificates about their health condition, just to get an advance payment from biological parents for their services as soon as possible.
Several types of fraud are rampant on the web. Someone claims to be a mediator. He meets you in reality, introduces you to a pretty and modest lady, who, of course, has all the certificates and documents available. But the trouble is, several certificates are overdue. They take money from you for a new examination and disappear. Usually, such “intermediaries” from the Internet deceive several couples, after which they change phones and under a new name are again called to act as intermediaries.
Another scheme - a potential candidate herself makes contact, asks to send her money for the trip to your city, for example, from another point in Russia or even from the CIS countries, and then she simply disappears. Some deliberately do not want to get pregnant, even having signed an agreement with "customers". In this case, neither the doctors nor the biological parents will understand why several IVF attempts have not been successful. In the meantime, the woman will take hormonal drugs that will prevent pregnancy from occurring, and in every attempt she will demand another advance from the biological parents.
The most reliable, but less economical, search is through reproductive agencies and clinics. Almost every large clinic that performs IVF and other types of assisted reproductive techniques has a personal register of gestational couriers. In reproductive agencies, the registers of surrogate mothers are more extensive, all candidates, before being entered in the register, undergo a full medical examination, receive a conclusion from a psychiatrist and a narcologist, a geneticist, and also provide all the documents that are needed to participate in the program. Only after checking them, the legal advisers of the agencies make a decision on admitting the gestational courier to participate in the program.
Of course, not a single agency, not a single clinic can 100% guarantee that there will be no problems with the surrogate mother recommended by them at one stage or another, but the probability of a successful search in this situation is much higher.
In addition to consulting, lawyers will help to draw up the correct agreement between the "customers" and the "performer", which will be completely legitimate, and will also take into account the interests of all parties.
Requirements for the candidate
The requirements, as already mentioned, are clearly indicated by the order of the Ministry of Health No. 107-n, which regulates the procedure for providing the population of Russia with assisted reproductive medical care. But future biological parents should be guided in this matter no worse than the officials of the Ministry of Health, because we are talking about the health of their future and such a long-awaited baby.
Here are the basic requirements that a woman must meet when intending to carry a baby for strangers:
- Age. The ideal age is considered the age of highest reproductive activity - from 20 to 35 years.
- Having a child. It plays a role in how the child was conceived, whether it was a natural conception. The method of delivery is also important. If the candidate had a caesarean section, she will not be able to be a gestational courier.
- Family status. If a potential candidate is married, be sure to ask her for her husband's notarized consent to the wife's participation in the IVF program as a surrogate mother. If the candidate is divorced or lives in a civil marriage, such a document is not needed.
- Health status. A detailed list of tests and medical specialists is available in your clinic or in the order of the Ministry of Health No. 107-n. In addition to many analyzes, a woman is obliged to provide certificates from a psychiatrist and a narcologist, while the psychiatrist makes a separate conclusion about sanity.
- Genetic tolerance. A geneticist will make a conclusion about a woman's health at the genetic level. Her oocytes will not be used for IVF, this is prohibited by law in Russia, but the genetic conclusion is important in order to exclude some hereditary diseases in the woman herself, because during the gestation period, they can appear.
- No criminal record. A woman who declares her intention to carry your child must have a valid criminal record, as well as that at the moment she is not a suspect and is not under investigation.
You can try to find a surrogate mother in Ukraine or Belarus, where their services are cheaper, but the requirements imposed by the Ministry of Health of these states may differ. Therefore, most of the Russian clinics try to cooperate only with women who have Russian citizenship. If this is a matter of principle for you, ask for confirmation - Russian passport, SNILS.
Pay attention to the personality - how intellectually developed a woman is, whether she has bad habits, how obligatory she is. This will help to understand how she will relate to her duties, because bearing someone else's child is a real job. You need to follow a certain regimen, take vitamins, eat right, do not drink or smoke, visit a doctor on time.
Also pay attention to the build. Overweight women and women with obvious obesity will be harder to carry pregnancy, dangerous complications may develop, for example, preeclampsia. As a result, the child will suffer, and he will be yours, relatives by blood and genes. It is important that the biological mother has the same Rh factors in the blood when it comes to positive Rh.
It is better not to consider women with negative Rh as candidates for gestational couriers in order to avoid the development of Rh-conflict during pregnancy.
Risks and dangers
If biological parents would like to limit communication with a woman they do not know during pregnancy, they can use the curator's service - a clinic or reproductive agency will determine an intermediary - a person who will monitor the fulfillment of the terms of the contract by both parties.
Biological parents should reasonably control the entire pregnancy process, pay a monthly allowance for a surrogate mother, and also take upon themselves all the costs of buying food, renting an apartment during pregnancy, buying clothes for her, vitamins and everything that the attending physician prescribes.
Be careful - there are such gestational couriers who can start blackmailing you with an abortion if you do not agree, for example, buy them an apartment or increase the amount of the fee that has already been entered into the contract by agreement of the parties.
The cost
Services of a surrogate mother are expensive. On average in Russia, the contract price starts from 800-900 thousand rubles and can exceed 3 million, it all depends on the region and the standard of living in it. This is the cost of delivery only. For 9 months you will have to fork out for monthly payments, a kind of "salary" for surrogate mother - from 15 to 50 thousand. Plus all the accompanying expenses (renting an apartment, meals, vouchers to a sanatorium or a trip to spa treatment).
It is worth preparing in advance that the pregnancy will be carried out by a private clinic, where everything will be paid. Paying medical bills is also the responsibility of biological parents. If a surrogate mother comes from a neighboring state, it will be necessary to take care of temporary registration for her on the territory of our country.
Experienced surrogate mothers (who already have experience of successful maternity contracts) are much more expensive than “newcomers”, since they are more predictable.
The female gestational courier has the right to assess the amount of her fee herself, no law regulates the amount of the payment. Everything will depend on the requests of the candidate and the ability of the couple to satisfy these requests.
Tips and Feedback
After specifying the price, checking the documents and certificates from the candidate that they managed to find, the biological parents should check her against the existing "black lists" on special Internet resources dedicated to surrogacy. Gestational couriers and scammers who disguise themselves as them sooner or later come into view and their names fall on the lists.
In their reviews, the spouses, who were faced with the task of choosing a reliable and decent person for the birth of a child, indicate that it is better to overpay and use the services of agencies and clinics than to engage in independent search. Moreover, many would like to hide this fact from family and friends.
For information on where to find a surrogate mother for the birth of a child, see the next video.
