More and more women and men prefer not to limit a man's participation in childbirth by being present at conception. Increasingly, couples are choosing partner delivery. In this article we will tell you how a partner can be useful in a maternity hospital, when a man should not be taken to childbirth, how to prepare for a joint childbirth, and also consider all the pros and cons.
What it is?
Partner births are births that take place in the presence of a partner, and not only the woman in labor, but also her loved one, is directly involved in childbirth, providing all possible assistance to the woman and medical personnel.
Partnership childbirth has become widespread recently, the fashion of going to the hospital together came to Russia from the West. However, childbirth with the presence of a partner has a very rich history and did not appear several decades ago.
Before the Middle Ages and during this historical period, many peoples rejected the suffering of women in childbirth, not wanting to either participate in them or watch. In many tribes of Africa and Asia, a woman in labor was expelled from the village when childbirth began, and she was allowed to return home only when the child was born. Some peoples had a different attitude towards childbirth: the woman gave birth in public, the whole village became spectators, but none of the fellow villagers participated in obstetrics, did not help the baby to be born, and also did not alleviate the suffering of the woman in labor.
A little later, the meaning of husband and father became more clearly outlined in society. Protection and safety is exactly what a husband should have given to his girlfriend in labor. Men began to be involved in this process, and in some peoples, for example, in Polynesia, men themselves gave birth to their partners, cut the umbilical cord and washed the baby.
Time passed and midwives appeared - specially trained women who took delivery. All the "rough" work by men was immediately shifted onto their shoulders, but many continued to be present at the birth of their child and, as much as they could, help the midwives.
In Russia, men were not too fond of being present at childbirth. It was believed that the husband "should not be ripe for women’s affairs." But if the birth was difficult, the midwives and older relatives of the family called the spouse so that the wife could give birth on his lap - this was considered emergency and effective help.
Most Russian men preferred not to enter the room where the woman was giving birth, but they were sure to be nearby. If childbirth was delayed, it was the husband of tradition that was ordered to pray to God as diligently as possible. At the same time, Orthodox traditions imply that the husband of a woman in labor at the time of childbirth and shortly before it begins to fast unscheduled, so that his prayers are heard.
The concept of modern joint childbirth was formulated by the World Health Organization in 1985. All health care providers were advised to allow a partner or family members to participate in childbirth. This is due to the psychological comfort of the woman in labor. When a woman is calmer, she is more relaxed. Relaxation, in turn, leads to less pain, faster cervical dilatation and a shorter labor process.
WHO recommendations on obstetric care unambiguously indicate that the time of contractions, if a loved one is present, in a woman in labor is reduced by about a third. It is these recommendations that form the basis for organizing partner childbirth around the world.
What should a partner do in a maternity hospital?
Many couples misunderstand the very concept of "joint childbirth". They are called such not because a woman and her husband are present in the family, but because the husband in this case ceases to be a remote "support group" and becomes an assistant, a participant. In other words, a man comes to the hospital not to stand on the sidelines and see how his heir is born, but to help his woman more easily endure labor pains.
Therefore, the answer to the question, what, in fact, a man to do in the hospital, is quite multifaceted. A man in an obstetric institution can have a lot of things to do.
- Support your spouse, talk to her, distract her from fear, panic and gloomy thoughts.
- Help in fights - do massage of the sacral area, back, shoulder girdle in between contractions. This greatly facilitates the contractions themselves, reduces pain.
- Create an atmosphere of family and comfort. The psychological state of a woman, especially giving birth for the first time, who finds herself in an unfamiliar environment with strangers (doctors and midwives) does not contribute to relaxation, and therefore childbirth proceeds longer and more painful.
- Be a messenger and mediator - doctors do not constantly stand at the bed of a woman in labor, and therefore the presence of a relative next to her can be very useful. The husband can be sent to call a doctor or obstetrician if a woman feels unwell or her condition changes unexpectedly.
- "To translate" from a doctor into a native language - such participation is often useful in the process of pushing. In the midst of childbirth, a woman cannot always perceive the command of an obstetrician the first time; in this case, the husband standing at the head of the bed can not only hold the woman's hand, but also repeat the commands of the doctor or obstetrician for her. It has been proven that commands given by a familiar and familiar voice are perceived much better and faster even in a state of passion.
- Provide attention to the newborn from the first minutes of his life. Dads are allowed to stand at the table, where the baby is weighed, washed after birth, and even hold him by the handle. At this time, the obstetric team is engaged in a woman - the placenta is born, it is possible that stitches are applied to the perineum. Pediatricians believe that the early presence of a loved one in a child's life is felt by a tiny person intuitively, the baby is calmer, which contributes to its faster adaptation.
Humorists tell stories about men's fainting in the delivery room. In practice, this can really happen, but only when the man was neither morally nor physically ready for his participation in childbirth, if he simply does not understand why he gave his consent to partner childbirth at all and what he was doing here. In addition, the future dad should be very impressionable, afraid of blood, and when he sees a doctor in a dressing gown and mask, he will automatically lose his will. Such a man really has nothing to do in the clan.
Fortunately, most men are still more psychologically stable and strong, and if they are also properly motivated before giving birth together, then there will be no fainting. A man in a maternity hospital should have a clear plan of action for a variety of cases.
Pros and cons
Joint childbirth can be mutually beneficial, because the presence of a partner in whom the woman fully trusts, ultimately benefits everyone, including medical personnel. It has long been noted that the level of conflict between doctors, patients and their relatives is noticeably reduced if one of the relatives takes part in childbirth.
Joint childbirth increases not only the confidence level of the woman in labor, but also, oddly enough, the self-esteem of the man. Men love to be useful and necessary to their partners, and where, no matter how in childbirth, you can show all your best qualities!
Preparation for childbirth, in which not only the expectant mother, but also the future father participates, unites the family, allows the man to feel responsible. As a result, fatherly feelings come earlier. The father's instinct is not regulated by hormones or other factors of internal origin, as is the case in women. Therefore, attending courses with your wife is a great way to speed up the process of becoming a father.
A definite plus lies in the fact that the man will provide additional control. This is especially true of surgical delivery if the woman is under anesthesia. He can follow the actions of the medical staff while the spouse is unconscious, make sure that the child and the spouse are provided with proper care.
There can be another important benefit from the newly-made dad - he can film the first seconds of the baby's life on video or photo, then these frames will certainly decorate the family album.
Disadvantages of partner childbirth may lie in the lack of knowledge and understanding of what is happening with the partner. If a man does not understand the essence of contractions or attempts, does not know how and how he can help at different periods of labor, then there will be little benefit from him in the delivery room. Also, joint childbirth is not the best choice if the spouses have difficulties in relationships, there is no proper level of trust in each other.
Often, alas, a man, instead of the help that both the spouse and the doctor expect from him, begins to interfere with them. He begins to interfere in the decisions of doctors, demand explanations, hysteria and get nervous. A man who does not know how to control himself in a difficult situation can only harm during childbirth - it is better for him to stay at home and worry remotely.
What will happen to the family next?
It is widely believed that partner childbirth necessarily leaves its mark on the relationship of the spouses in the future, and this is true. But the imprint can be both positive and negative. Moreover, it is completely impossible to predict in advance what will actually happen next.
If the spouses are not morally ready for partner childbirth, then a certain mutual awkwardness is possible.... Women who always try to look good in front of their husbands may become distracted from the process and worry about how they look at the moment. Men who are accustomed to the fact that the wife always looks great may not be ready for the fact that the spouse does not appear in the most presentable form in the birth ward.
The most compelling argument against childbirth together is the possibility of a subsequent decrease in sexual desire for a wife. In practice, this is not excluded, but it does not occur so often, since a man present at childbirth cannot directly see the process of giving birth. He stands at the head of the bed, and only the obstetrician sees what happens between the legs, he occupies this place throughout the entire period of exertion and after it.
The opinion of psychologists on this score, like the opinion of the spouses themselves, is ambiguous. Some experts argue that joint experiences unite a husband and wife, make the relationship between them more trusting and open, others tend to believe that a man has no place in the delivery room, because a woman should remain a little mysterious for him.
Another aspect that specialists in the field of psychology pay attention to is a possible guilt complex in a partner. It can be formed due to the fact that in childbirth a man cannot significantly alleviate painful sensations, help his woman give birth quickly and painlessly. The male psyche is quite vulnerable, especially in situations where they want to help, but are powerless to do so.
If the relationship has been clouded in some way before giving birth, partner childbirth can make the problem worse. Such couples, after time spent together in the hospital, often break up, since common experiences do not make them more open to each other, but only contribute to separation.
How to Prepare?
Joint preliminary preparation for partner childbirth, if such a decision is well thought out by the couple and made, should begin with attending courses. They work at every antenatal clinic. From the very first joint classes, the spouses will be able to better understand whether they want to still be in the delivery room together. During the course, a woman and her partner will be taught how to interact during childbirth. The expectant mother will be taught how to breathe correctly for natural pain relief, and the man will be taught to control this breathing, massage the lower back and sacrum, and also show postures in which it will be easier for a woman to endure contractions. For joint childbirth, there is a special system of auxiliary postures in which both partners are involved.
At the second stage of preparation, the couple chooses a maternity hospital, applies there for advice and a list of tests that need to be passed to a man. In individual medical institutions, the requirements for examinations for men may differ, but in general, the list of examinations is recommended by the Ministry of Health. It includes:
- blood test for HIV status;
- blood test for hepatitis B, C;
- a blood test for syphilis;
- fluorography with a description.
A man may need the conclusion of a therapist and a dermatologist; some maternity hospitals also ask for a certificate from an infectious disease specialist. The couple writes a statement asking for the opportunity to give birth together and attach documents - copies of passports and marriage certificates.
Joint childbirth is as follows.
- With a preliminary planned hospitalization, a woman goes to the hospital. The man is informed that childbirth has begun by telephone, and he arrives at the reception with the necessary things and documents.
- In case of emergency hospitalization, the partner can come to the hospital at the same time as the woman in labor.
- The woman is received, escorted to the sanitary room, documents are drawn up. It is recommended that a man change into the changeable clothes brought with him, change his shoes, put on a disposable gown, a hat (disposable cap) and a medical mask and escort him to a separate birth ward, where his wife is then brought.
- In the first stage of labor, while the contractions are ongoing, the partners are in the ward together. They breathe, do massage, take the necessary postures for relief. From time to time, an obstetrician or doctor comes to them and assesses the degree of cervical dilatation.
- In the second stage of labor, the woman is transferred to the delivery room. A man at this stage may not be admitted there if there are still women giving birth, if the medical facility does not have a separate delivery room for partner deliveries. If there is an opportunity to be present during the attempts, a man may well come in and support his wife.
- After the birth of the child, it is shown to mom and dad. Then the father can leave his spouse for a while and be with the child while he is washed, processed, weighed and measured.
- After giving birth, a woman and a baby, in the absence of contraindications and complications, are transferred to a separate ward, where the dad can also be present and help a tired wife take care of the baby. This is especially important on the first day, when it is very difficult for a woman herself to provide a newborn with full-fledged care.
- With a caesarean section, it is very rare to be present in the operating room. In most cases, a man is in the preoperative room and observes what is happening through a glass window. The baby will be presented to dad immediately after the baby is born.
What a partner needs to know is not so difficult to understand. First, the mechanism of childbirth and the main stages in order to understand which of them the woman is at the moment. You should also prepare your husband in advance and let him familiarize himself with the reminder on behavior during childbirth.
- The partner must express with all his appearance that everything is going not just normally, but perfectly. Even if he himself is confused and does not really understand what is really happening, the man should not show the sight.
- You need to be prepared to measure contractions, duration and intervals between them.You need to understand what duration precedes the strenuous period, and also be ready to call a doctor on time.
- You need to be ready to fulfill any woman's request - to hold her hand, to be a support for her for vertical hang, give her water, a napkin, a handkerchief, bring a gymnastic ball, if the contractions are easier on it, etc. The request of a woman in labor is the law.
- Take your wife to the bathroom every hour, even if she doesn't want to. Emptying the bladder significantly reduces pain.
- You must be prepared to cut the umbilical cord if the obstetrician asks you to do so under medical supervision. Sometimes new fathers are entrusted with this honorable mission.
- You need to be prepared for the fact that at the last moment they will not be allowed to give birth due to quarantine in the hospital or a banal cold with the future dad.
The legislative framework
The possibility and order of partner delivery is provided for in the methodological letter of the Ministry of Health No. 15-4 / 10 / 2-6796 dated July 13, 2011. Also, a lot of useful things can be found in the Federal Law on the Fundamentals of Health Protection. The guidelines call on physicians in maternity hospitals and perinatal centers to support partner deliveries. At the same time, according to the law, any close person can be considered a partner; it is not necessary to have a marriage certificate. For childbirth, you can, upon prior application, come with your mother, friend, sister. If the partner at the same time provides all the necessary tests, then he can be admitted to participate in childbirth.
Also, the documents mentioned above regulate the cost of the service. According to article 64 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, as well as the Federal Law on the basics of health protection, the medical institution has no right to charge a fee for a joint delivery. Of course, this requirement applies only to childbirth under the compulsory medical insurance policy. If the couple chose a private maternity hospital, a paid clinic with which they entered into an agreement for the provision of medical services, then they will have to pay in accordance with the approved list of the cost of services in this medical institution. The cost is announced before the contract is signed and in most cases is paid before the start of labor.
The legislation also provides for situations in which doctors, on a completely legal basis, can refuse partner childbirth. These include the inadequacy of the partner's health status, the lack of ready-made tests, the introduction of quarantine, the absence of an environment acceptable for partner childbirth (separate delivery room, separate antenatal wards, separate postnatal wards).
Reviews of women and men
According to the mothers, the husband in most cases can be very useful in the hospital, but the main thing that he does is give the woman a feeling of support, and she is very grateful to him for this. The responses of men are different. Some argue that they do not regret at all that they went with their wife to give birth, while others claim that more "not a foot in this institution." The positive experience, men write, did not in the least change their attitude towards their wives, and their sexual attraction was not lost, no matter what those who are against partner childbirth in principle say about it.
Men who rate their experience of joint childbirth as negative say that they were completely unprepared for what will actually happen, despite the courses, seminars and trainings that they attended with their wives before the start of labor. The reality turned out to be much more terrible, but the hardest thing was to feel one's own powerlessness, because, by and large, it was not possible to help my wife.
Psychologists advise couples to weigh their decision well.
What is joint childbirth? What are the prerequisites for a successful joint childbirth? Can joint childbirth affect the subsequent relationship between spouses? All these questions will be answered by Dr. Komarovsky.
