Does the child need a kindergarten? Should you transfer your child to another kindergarten in severe cases? How can you help your child adapt? We will talk about this and not only.
Adaptation problem
Kindergarten is a new life situation that children find themselves in. For children, communication in a group comes to the fore. New surroundings, strangers - many kids perceive this with a problem.
Most of the children roar in front of the kindergarten. It is easy for some to get involved, but in the evening at home there are tears, others have to be persuaded to go, they are capricious and cry in front of the entrance to the kindergarten. Older children adapt to new conditions easier and faster.
The following factors can cause children's tears:
- Fear associated with a new environment (children under 3 years old need double care). The child is accustomed to a home, a calm atmosphere, next to his mother. And getting into an unknown place, with certain rules of behavior and daily routine, he has a hard time, he experiences stress. Kindergarten instills a discipline that the child did not adhere to at home before.
- An overabundance of emotions. In kindergarten, children receive many new positive and negative impressions, they can get tired and, because of this, become nervous, whiny and moody.
- Failure to serve yourself.
- The child is not psychologically ready. The reasons may be in the individual characteristics of development. Often this happens from a lack of closeness with the mother.
- The effect of a negative first impression. It influences the child's presence in this institution.
- Rejection of your baby by the kindergarten staff. Unfortunately, this is possible.
Types of adaptation
The adaptation process is inevitable when there is a divergence of our capabilities and environmental requirements.
Three main ways of adaptation are classified:
- creative style, personality, by active actions changes and adapts the environment for himself;
- conformal style, with this style a person has to get used to and adapt to the environment;
- a style of avoidance in which a person tries to get away from solving a problem, due to unwillingness or inability to change something.
The most effective is the creative style, the most ineffective is the avoidance style.
There are also three levels of severity of the adaptation process:
- Easy adaptation - behavior returns to normal in the period from 10 to 15 days; there is a normalized weight gain, the child, as expected, behaves in the group, attending kindergarten, is not exposed to diseases; does not scandal, going with mom to kindergarten. Such kids rarely get sick, but adaptation does not pass without a trace, breakdowns are possible;
- Moderate adaptation - the adaptation process takes up to two months, short-term weight loss is possible, mental stress is likely. The child sometimes cries, but not for long. In most cases, the disease is bypassed.
- Heavy adaptation lasts up to six months; children often get sick, skills and abilities disappear; the body weakens both physically and psychologically. At this time, children may have poor appetite, sleep and urination problems. The child's mood changes dramatically, he becomes moody. Such a child does not speak in kindergarten and does not play with anyone. It is unacceptable to let this situation go by itself, otherwise the child may undergo nervous diseases and disorders. If the adaptation process is delayed for a whole year, you need to contact a specialist. Perhaps changing kindergarten will be the solution to the problem.
Psychologist's advice
Initially, you need to find out what exactly interferes with the adaptation of your child in kindergarten. The obvious problem is fairly easy to solve. But it happens that you face a whole complex of disguised problems that you cannot cope with on your own. In such a situation, it would be correct to ask for the help of a professional psychologist. You need to understand what experiences children experience in the process of adaptation in order to neutralize the negative and emphasize the positive. Fear, anger and resentment can be distinguished from negative emotions. From the positive - joy, pleasure from new impressions and acquaintances, a sense of satisfaction from independent actions.
You shouldn't leave your child in the garden for the whole day, three hours will be enough to start. A prerequisite is that the child must know the exact time of your return so that he does not feel abandoned. Agree on what the baby will be doing without you. It is better to say goodbye jokingly, with a laugh. Just do not try to cry in a fit of feelings before leaving. Let your little one bring a favorite toy with him, so he won't be alone.
A little trick can also help: let your child be taken to kindergarten by a grandmother, aunt, or another relative. In this case, the moment of farewell will be easier to experience.
Undoubtedly, you need to go through this unfamiliar period together. Ask your child about everything, about interesting games, new acquaintances. Help in difficulties, praise for achievements. Tell us how bad you felt without him. Children should feel that they are supported and in no way left. Emphasize how adult he has become, independent, now he has responsibilities to go somewhere, like mom and dad. Before hanging up, talk about the good moments from visiting the kindergarten, agree to repeat them again tomorrow. To easily wake up the child in the kindergarten, it is better to put him to rest early.
Common mistakes parents make
One of the common mistakes is the usual lack of desire to realize the problem or unpreparedness for the fact that the child's reaction may be negative. Parents may think that these are just the whims of the child, a way to get attention. “I walked and everything is fine,” so many argue, not remembering that at first they were also stressed. Moms and dads are not ready for the fact that the child does not obey, does not eat, does not sleep. From this, there are frequent mistakes in the form of punishment or abuse, which only worsens the situation.
Another common mistake is a decrease in the attention of parents, indifference to the affairs of the child, thinking that everything is fine in kindergarten, relying on the educators. The child may feel that he is not needed by anyone and abandoned. In such a situation, the child is left alone with stress, which can cause unjustified aggression in an attempt to stand up for himself, or, on the contrary, the child will withdraw, withdraw and become nervous.
As I said, parting should be humorous and fun. Sometimes mothers try to leave when the baby is busy with something. Having finished his business, the baby realizes that his mother has left, and when she returns, he does not know. This circumstance scares him very much, the child thinks that he can be thrown alone at least when this can provoke severe psychological trauma.
You should not promise a reward for just one visit to the kindergarten. Further, this can lead to blackmail by the child. But praise is recommended for excellent deeds in the garden or for something specific. Also, do not express your dissatisfaction with the kindergarten or the teachers in the presence of the child - the child may feel that the kindergarten is not such a good place and that it may be bad for him there.
A rapid change in the baby's environment is prohibited. Adaptation should be smooth and deliberate. A quick change in the daily routine and habits of the baby is unacceptable. All these circumstances can cause certain mental disorders.
Recommendations for parents on preparing a child for kindergarten
- Do not talk with the child about the problems associated with the kindergarten.
- Only a completely healthy child should be sent to the garden.
- Do not start going to kindergarten at the peak of the three-year crisis.
- At home, introduce a daily routine like a day in kindergarten.
- Increase the importance of hardening.
- In advance, introduce the child to the kids and the teacher of the kindergarten to which he will go.
- Give the baby a positive attitude about kindergarten.
- "Reveal the secret" to the child about special communication skills.
- Already at home you need to teach your baby to take care of himself.
- Do not frighten the child with kindergarten (if you misbehave, you will go to kindergarten).
- Explain to the child that temporary separation is inevitable only because he has become an adult.
- Do not show your excitement and anxiety before entering the garden.
- Plan your vacation so that you can pick it up early in the first month of your garden visit.
- Constantly remind your child of your unconditional love for him.
From what age is it better to send to kindergarten?
The opinions of experts about when it is better to send a child to kindergarten agree - at three or even four years. After three years, the child develops a desire to actively interact with other children. In addition, after three years, children usually begin to speak better, can learn to negotiate and communicate with each other. They are also able to tell you about how they spent their day, what made them sad or happy.
Of course, all people have different opportunities, and not everyone can be on maternity leave for so long. An alternative option is a short stay group or a junior group. Such groups are found in almost all gardens.
What should a child be able to do when entering kindergarten?
First of all, a baby leaving kindergarten should be able to serve himself: be able to dress himself, be able to eat, go to the potty, wash and dry himself. Of course, an adult teacher will help to fasten the buttons and tie the laces, but you don't need to think that she will always dress and spoon feed all fifteen toddlers! Such a task is simply not feasible for a teacher.
It should be emphasized that 2 years is the most favorable period for teaching to be independent. It is necessary to conduct classes from 2-3 years old. The mental development of the child during this period contributes to this. It is not for nothing that they say that the third year of a baby's development is called "I can do it myself!" At this time, the child does not even need to be asked to do something himself - he only wants this himself, stubbornly and fearlessly insisting on his right to do the job on his own and get great satisfaction from the result.
Often, mothers and fathers of such a child should take care not to interfere with his independence. This is probably the most important thing in this process! At the age of three, the child becomes independent: he eats and drinks, washes and brushes his teeth, dresses and undresses, goes to the pot on time. Now he easily removes toys, wipes the table with a rag, carefully folds his clothes.
Do you have a hard time believing it? But this is a fact, and more than that: in order to achieve such success, you do not need to make any incredible efforts, only one thing - do not interfere! Do not pull him by the handles, do not follow his every step, do not even try to do something for him, although it seems to you that he is still too small.
Of course, in real life this is not so easy to do. Not at once everything will turn out perfect for him, there will be a lot of trial and error. The most important thing is patience. Not every mother is able to patiently observe the numerous attempts of her child. But it's worth it, your patience and attention will return in full.
