The variety of children's goods and toys in stores often leads to big problems for parents. Many babies get into the habit of throwing tantrums if the mother or father does not agree to buy the thing they like. To reduce spontaneous purchases that drain the wallet and root the nascent selfishness, you should carefully study this article.
1. Distracting maneuver
The ideal way to prevent the acquisition of another, sometimes completely unnecessary toy, is to distract the child (to distract the child's attention to a toy or food that is cheaper or useful in your opinion). Such actions are especially effective for reducing costs, because the baby does not know the price of things and can easily be distracted by less expensive goods.
In the case when the purchase is not provided at all, you can try to "talk" the child and remind him of the same or similar toy at home, agreeing to play with him on his return from the store. Many children literally cling to chocolates, chips and other far from healthy "snacks". A description of what delicious food is waiting for the child at home will help here: perhaps he is already hungry and will agree to safely go home.
2. Promise to buy another day
If you can't completely refuse your son or daughter, you can promise to buy a toy later. This will allow you to stop his demands at the very beginning, not to follow the lead, while preventing tears and disappointment. Most often it happens that the child quickly forgets about his own request, and then you can successfully save the funds in your wallet. Almost certainly, the next day the baby will not remember the thing that he did not need at all. Nevertheless, it is worth keeping promises: this way the authority of adults will be preserved, and disappointment, which will be remembered for a long time, will not befall the child.
3. Ability to say "no"
Not every parent knows how to stand firm when it comes to buying another trinket for a child. But you must be able to refuse, because in the future, indulging children in everything can result in serious troubles, for example, in off-scale selfishness. A gentle, non-specific refusal will only provoke the little sly, he will quickly feel the weakness of his parents, who cannot resist his demands. Uncertainty is a fertile ground for new requests, more and more persistent each time.
So that the child does not beg for a toy in the store until it is purchased, such attempts must be stopped immediately and firmly. Shouting, of course, is not worth it, as well as saying “no” in a tone imbued with guilt and ingratiation. It is better to look the child in the eyes and calmly but clearly say “no”, making it clear that further bickering is pointless.
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4. Explanations are still needed
As a rule, just the word “no” is not enough, and excuses “no, because I said so” or “just not, and everything” will not help the case.
It is worth saying that a simple refusal without the right to discussion will not be entirely honest in relation to the child. He may perceive it as inattention, an excuse, a lack of love for him, which will negatively affect the relationship. You should not show your strength by belittling the baby and giving no explanation. Children, too, can understand a lot, and a reasonable interpretation will be very helpful.
It is necessary to tell why a purchase is impossible, taking into account the child's age, because vague reasoning about the crisis in the country is simply not clear to him. If the toy you want is very expensive, you can talk about the price and compare the cost with the amount in your wallet. Also, the child should understand that the purchase of such a toy may turn into the inability to acquire more important things - food, clothes.
When a child wants to buy candy, other treats that will harm him, you can talk about the negative consequences of such foods. So, sweets can hurt your teeth, chips can hurt your stomach, etc. Thus, the baby will be able to understand the refusal without any problems.
5. Yes and no "in one bottle"
How to fight back the child's persistence, but not quarrel with him and seem to agree? You can apply the technique "Yes, but ..."... For example, when asked to buy a toy, they say “okay, but you already have several of these toys, but where to put the old ones, there will be no room for them”, etc. Sometimes you have to use more than one argument, but then the child gets tired of arguing, and he will retreat.
6. Zero reaction to tantrums
Sometimes it also happens that none of the described techniques helped, and the child threw a real tantrum right in the store. Usually this is his "control argument", especially if he once helped to get what he wanted. If you give in to tears and persuasion once, then similar actions of the child will follow. The best solution in such a situation is to quickly get the baby out of the store (or even carry it in your arms), and already privately to strictly explain to him that such actions will never lead to buying a toy. It should also be made clear that the parents will not talk to the baby until the crying stops.
Console, beg the child to stop the tantrum, you do not need to urgently run to the store for a toy! When children understand that they will not receive the required item, the first reaction may be even more crying. But parental ignorance of the child's cry forces the capricious child to stop hysterical. In the future, the baby will definitely remember that such behavior will not help "knock out" the thing he needs from his parents, and will not cry.
7. Consistency in everything
It is a mistake to prohibit today, and to permit any actions and deeds tomorrow. A reasonable prohibition on certain things must be in place at all times. Relaxing, you can give the child hope for the changing mood of the parents and a chance to get what they want.
It happens that the purchase depends on the actions of the child. If he, in agreement with the parents, corrected any situation, the decision may well be changed - as a reasonable reward.
Example: a child asks to buy a puppy, but does not help around the house, and the parents are afraid that he will not take care of him. After the conversation and the explanations received, the baby begins to behave more responsibly, begins to help around the house, becomes more independent, for which he receives a puppy. A well-deserved gift will serve as an excellent educational reception, which in the future will allow the baby to become more prudent and responsible.
8. One solution for all family members
The ban should not only come from one family member. If someone close to him buys something that the other has refused, the educational effect will be completely absent. All such decisions need to be discussed with other household members, taking a unified position on this issue. When there are disagreements, it is required to explain to them that such behavior will undermine the authority of the parent in the eyes of the child, and this is unacceptable.
9. Acceptance of refusal by the child
Despite the difficulties, you cannot force the kid to agree with the refusal by using force, screaming. But you will have to try in ways of persuasion, because acceptance of refusal is an important step in growing up a child. This will allow at an older age to independently assess how rational his desire is, whether it will harm the family and the budget, whether it is worth mentioning it.
Being able to say “no” is important, but you shouldn't refuse all requests for your child. Adults are also often wrong, so categorical judgments are not always correct. It is not necessary to make the baby cry once again, it is better to show love and respect to him, but not allowing spoiledness.
