How to correctly and tactfully make a remark to someone else's child

Let's analyze whether we have the right to make comments to other people's children? If - yes, then how to do it correctly, what can and can not be told to someone else's child. In what situations is the intervention of an outside adult simply necessary and how should one behave with parents who do not want to respond to your comments? Let's highlight the basic rules of behavior and communication with children.

It's sad that modern children know much less about politeness than children of previous generations. Often people are indignant and even lost from uncultured and ignorant actions or sayings of other people's children in public places. But what can you do in a situation where you just want to express a remark? And is it possible to do this in relation to other people's children, and most importantly - how to do it tactfully and politely?

Do we have the right to make comments to other people's children

Last year (in 2017), there was a video on the Internet for quite a long time: in the queue at the checkout, a child pushed one man with a grocery cart, while the child's mother did not show any reaction. After the man's patience ran out, he took a carton of milk and poured its contents onto the little bully. This behavior of a man divided netizens into two oppositions. One opposition stood up like a mountain for the child, whom the mother should protect in any case, the other supported the man, they say, such children and their mothers need to be put in their place.
But who is right in this situation and how should a person behave?

In fact, it is up to everyone to decide whether to intervene or not to interfere, due to good breeding. Here you need to realize that teaching other people's children is not your concern, it should be done by their parents. Therefore, any complaints can only be presented to the parents. But still, there are times when an intervention must occur:

If the child's parents are not nearby, and the situation requires an immediate response from adults;
If parents just don't want to get involved, for example, considering that a child is impossible and does not need to be raised until the age of five. And at this time the situation requires a solution;
When a child's behavior can cause material harm to others... For example, you are a store employee, the child's mother has gone to another department to buy groceries, and at this time her child is running around with an expensive product;
When a child's behavior can cause physical harm to your child, you or other people... Yes, it happens. For example, there are often cases in which the mother of a stranger child is enthusiastically talking on the phone or with her friends and does not at all notice how her child starts to beat, push your child. As a result, your child may be injured, and there is no need to expect anything at all, since the price of waiting is your child's health;
When someone else's child interferes with the comfort and convenience of others... For example, on the bus he kicks your bag with his shoes, deliberately loudly crunches chips next to you in the cinema, and knocks on your seat with his feet.

But it is necessary to distinguish between cases in which children can behave deliberately indecent or appropriate to age characteristics. For example, if a child is running around a hospital hall (a bank, a store, etc.), then this is his completely natural behavior, because all children are active and cheerful, and it is natural for them to run and have fun ...

A completely different situation is when the child behaves badly, while the parents do not pay any attention to it. It is the latter that can lead to a feeling of permissiveness and other consequences.

What conclusion can be drawn? Every child should have boundaries of behavior! These boundaries, which imply the observance of social rules, can make us polite, kind and humane.

In addition, do not forget that moral laws exist, therefore, if children violate them, then there should be punishment, or at least censure. Although, it's up to the parents.

How to reprimand a child

Consider 7 main rules for interacting with children, what comments can be made, how they should be done, what can be said and done in relation to someone else's child, and what is strictly prohibited.

If the situation has reached the extreme point of your patience and you want to express dissatisfaction, follow these rules:

Always analyze... If the situation does not require immediate resolution, is it probably not necessary to intervene? Try to put yourself in the shoes of his parents and find out: is it true that the child's actions are so boorish, or maybe this is his age-related behavior?
Direct all your displeasure to the child's parents... Remark your child when the parents do not respond to your complaints, and you see no other way to stop the situation.
Talk to your child in a polite manner.... Avoid aggression, assault, shouting and insults. There are, again, cases when a stranger's child attacks your child with obvious aggression, but these are exceptional situations. Often ordinary conversation is enough.
Your censure and conversation did not lead to the desired result, while the parents do not answer - immediately step aside and do not create a conflict situation... Your mission is over, let it remain on the conscience of his parents, besides, they will reap the fruits of such behavior.
Do not assess the behavior of other people's children... There is no need to explain to them that they are behaving badly. It is important to stop the very fact of disgusting behavior, to express your rejection.
Try to explain to someone else's child his wrong behavior as well as to your own... You need to imagine that you are teaching your child, because he hears and understands you precisely because you do it as accurately and clearly as possible, with notes of love.
Try to keep within the limits of what is permitted... Of course, the position of parents who do not respond to the disgusting behavior of their children (sometimes, and statements like “do not meddle in someone else’s business,” “he is still small - grows up - understands”) is often annoying and causes a feeling of injustice. But your task is to remain a tactful person, to set an example for your children.

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Remember: The most effective method of dealing with rude people is to be a great example of polite behavior, no matter what!

How to behave with the parents of someone else's child who does not respond to comments

As usually happens, parents “with hostility” perceive the censure of their children by strangers. And sometimes it happens - the comments come unfairly, just such a character in a person who is annoyed by the presence of someone else's child.

But often the comments from strangers are fair and need an immediate reaction to the child's parents. The main thing is to make these remarks correctly, so that your parents do not have a desire to get nasty in return, simply out of principle. How exactly to make comments?

Examples of how to make a remark to parents correctly:

Our kids are not able to share the slide (swing), let's help them organize the sequence.
There will be a quarrel between the children now, see if your child is among them?
In this situation, we cannot cope without you!
Your intervention is imperative!
Could you, during the trip, hold the legs of your baby?

Etc…

As you can see, your effective weapon in the fight against ill-bred children and their parents is tact and politeness. Therefore, in cases when the parents heard and understood your remarks, they stopped the child's bad behavior in time, then your further teachings and comments are not needed. By the way, even if they did not hear you and did not take your complaints into their account, then you should not continue making comments, it does not make sense, a conflict may clearly be brewing.

If the tomboy's parents rudely sent you to “catch butterflies,” “kick bamboo,” etc., again, there is no need for further remarks and comments, because there is no point - just leave, your nerves will be more whole.