Have you ever wondered what is better: being discharged from the hospital, being left to yourself with the child, or using the help of grandmothers who want to take part in caring for the baby with all their might? Those who are just about to give birth probably think that they cannot cope with a baby alone. I was convinced from my own experience that in the first months it is advisable to meet with grandmothers as little as possible. There are reasons for this.
Granny's experience is outdated
As soon as my husband brought us home with the baby, my mother and mother-in-law immediately came to us. They were moved by the pretty grandson, but did not hesitate to make a remark to me: “Why did you put a diaper on him? This is bad for the boy! Take it off immediately, put the gauze diaper on! "
In the future, they began to annoy me with their advice: “Why don't you boil the water, you have to bathe in boiled water?” What gel? It is necessary to cut the baby soap and wash it in the bend! " And so on ad infinitum.
I understand that both of them raised us, but that was 25 years ago. Now there is a slightly different attitude towards childcare. Much of what Soviet-era pediatricians advised are now a thing of the past. However, it is very difficult to change the opinion of the older generation, it takes a lot of effort.
Intimate reason
Oddly enough, but even with my mother, I was uncomfortable breastfeeding. It seems that we are all women, but I am somehow ashamed of this process in public. Moreover, I also had to express myself, and this intimate action looks absolutely ugly. I could go to another room, but then I felt embarrassed in front of my mother that she was sitting alone and waiting for me. In short, sheer inconvenience.
Everything is not the way I used to
Both my mother and mother-in-law sincerely wanted to help me with the housework. They were ready to take on putting things in order in the room and in the kitchen, buying groceries in the store and other household chores. I am very grateful to them for their desire to make my life easier, but ... The things in the closet are not in the same order as mine, we buy milk and cottage cheese from another brand, and my grandmother's cooking of dinner took away another portion of my moral strength: “Where is your grater ? Is there a bay leaf? How do I make the stove fire less? " and so on ad infinitum. Thanks to them, of course, well, I'd rather do everything the way I'm used to.
Mood swings
In the first weeks after the birth of my son, I experienced severe mood swings. Usually calm, balanced, I could not recognize myself. As I later read on the Internet, this was due to hormonal changes. It was not easy for me to restrain my emotions, which quickly changed from unbridled joy to panic fear for the child.
To prevent my grandmothers from witnessing my breakdowns, it was very difficult to restrain myself. I wanted to cry alone, to give vent to my feelings, but that was not the case. As soon as my mother or mother-in-law saw that something was tormenting me, my mood dropped, and questions immediately began. Sometimes I myself could not understand what was wrong with me, much less explain to anyone.
I want silence
The need to constantly maintain a conversation with your mother or mother-in-law takes a lot of energy. The child fell asleep, I want peace and quiet, have a cup of coffee alone, look into the phone, but there are grandmothers nearby who love to talk. You will not be silent with them and take care of yourself. You need to pay attention to them, otherwise they will be offended.
Grandmothers are not strangers. They sincerely offer their help in raising grandchildren. But if their presence is annoying, then you should delicately refuse their services. The time will come, the child will grow up a little, and they will still have the opportunity to show all their care for him.
